Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington
by MisterAnimeFan
Summary: Uka Uka is frustrated with Cortex and his constant failures at world domination. Cortex and his minions throw another meeting and they come up with a plan to become the president of the United States. Looks like Crash and friends are heading to America!
1. A Cunning Plan

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By narutofreak14

Hey everybody, its coasterfreak14 here…with another fanfiction! But anyway, I know I have other fanfictions to work on, but this won't leave my head.

So recently, I've been playing a lot of Crash Bandicoot games. Not just the newer ones, but the old-school Naughty Dog games too. And seeing how hilarious _Mind over Mutant_ was, I was beginning to do this fanfiction.

Now seeing as how this isn't really a popular section of fanfiction dot net, I don't expect a flood of reviews coming into my inbox, but a couple of good reviews could do.

**SUMMARY: **Uka Uka is becoming frustrated with Cortex and his constant failures at world domination. Cortex and his minions throw another meeting and they come up with a plan to become the president of the United States. Looks like Crash and friends are heading to America!

**RATING: **"K+" for minor language and crude humor.

**NOTES: **Some of the character personalities and looks are based on _Crash: Mind over Mutant_ (i.e. Brio takes credit for everything, N. Gin's insane…). However, Uka Uka and Aku Aku are based on their old appearances. Mutants or titans or jacking will not be mentioned in the story.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"Cortex, you are a hopeless idiotic moron!" boomed Uka Uka, loudly.

It was nighttime on Cortex Island, and in the top tower of Cortex Castle, Doctor Neo Periwinkle Cortex was on his knees, cowering before Uka Uka, the ancient evil mask that was locked up by his brother for eons. Right now, he was engulfed in fire, clearly furious at the scientist before him.

"You have failed me for the last time! We should be in control of the whole world by now and yet you are beaten down by those measly bandicoots that you created!"

"Um…ahh…Uka Uka," squeaked Cortex. "I am…me…um…my minions and I are coming up with another plan even as we speak. I assure you, great Uka Uka that Crash Bandicoot will be destroyed and the world shall be conquered."

"NO!" Uka Uka replied. "I'm tired of your screw-ups!"

"Please Uka Uka, give me one more chance," pleaded Cortex. "We'll win this time! This plan will be fool-proof!"

"Really?" asked Uka Uka. "What is your plan?"

"Ummm…hmmm…ah…well…"

"**YOU IMBECILE**!" Uka Uka shouted, loudly.

Outside of the tower door, N. Gin, Tiny Tiger (Twinsanity version), Doctor Nitrus Brio, and Dingodile were hiding behind lab tables, hiding from Uka Uka. Doctor Nefarious Tropy stood by, remaining calm. Suddenly, the door opened up and Cortex flew into the room, Uka Uka hovering behind him. "Oh no…Uka Uka…" N. Gin shouted. "He's found us out!"

"Everyone to the staff room now!" Uka Uka shouted. "We're having a meeting!"

"Oh, but it's not the end of the month," complained Dingodile.

"I said now!" Uka Uka shouted.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Cortex, Tropy, N. Gin, Tiny, Dingodile, and Brio sat around a large round metal table. Uka Uka was floating above their heads. "I can't believe that I have to hold another evil convention to get you screw-ups to come up with a plan to defeat that miserable Bandicoot!" Uka Uka said in a deep, gruff voice. All but Tropy were frightened. "Crash Bandicoot has foiled our plans for…for…"

"_Wrath of Cortex, Twinsanity…_Um…I think the count is five now," N. Gin said.

"Five! You really are hopeless!" Uka Uka replied, angrily. He then calmed down. "Now, we're going to think of a way to take over the world so that not even Crash can stop us!"

"We tried having a meeting in _Wrath of Cortex_," Brio mentioned. "By the way, _The Wrath of Cortex _was my idea. And yet, I wasn't in it!"

"Maybe because you knew it was bad," replied Tropy. "So you didn't want to get the blame."

"That is not true!" rebutted Brio.

"Enough!" Uka Uka shouted in anger. Brio and Tropy stopped. "Now since Cortex's plans have all failed time and time again, I'm really one you buffoons to come up with a plan! Now start thinking!"

"Tiny smashes Bandicoots!" Tiny growled.

"No! That's too simple!" Uka Uka replied.

"Oh! I got a brilliant idea!" N. Brio said, happily.

"Well, out with it!" Uka Uka shouted.

"Well…in this plan that I thought of myself, what I have noticed is that every time we try to take over the world, we are thwarted by those pesky bandicoots. Well, what I was thinking is that maybe we can take it a bit small this time. How about instead of taking over the world all at once, maybe we can take over a country and work from the ground up!" explained Brio.

Brio looked as Uka Uka and Cortex stared at him. "Um…it was…just a suggestion," Brio said, nervously.

"Actually, he might on to be something," said Tropy. "If we take over a small country without the bandicoots knowing, we may be able to conquer the world without their interference."

"I'm for it! LET'S TAKE OVER CHINA! USE FORCE!" N. Gin replied, loudly.

"We can't take over China by force!" rebutted Cortex. "China is just…I just don't like China."

"Besides, the quickest way to take over a country is by becoming a political leader. But China won't let anyone run against them," added Brio.

"So, your plan is for us to become a political Cabinet?" asked Tropy.

"Precisely," Brio replied.

"I call Secretary!" N. Gin replied.

"We have to be elected first," Cortex remarked.

Then, a light bulb went off in Cortex's oversized head. "Election…" he muttered to himself. "I know a country we can take over…and it should be an ease to replace their president."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **Yeah, a short introductory chapter for now. Most of the villains are present here, but I have add a few more like Nina Cortex along the way.

**NEXT TIME: **Crash, Coco, and Crunch are in the process of spring cleaning around the house. But then, they see the Cortex Airship fly away from Cortex Castle. Curious as to what Cortex is planning, Crash brings out the Crash Glider (from _Wrath of Cortex_) and begins to fly after it. Cortex sees it coming and begins to unleash a wave of Lab Assistants to fight back.


	2. Dogfight

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By narutofreak14

Hey everybody, its coasterfreak14 here…with another fanfiction! So recently, I've been playing a lot of Crash Bandicoot games. Not just the newer ones, but the old-school Naughty Dog games too. And seeing how hilarious _Mind over Mutant_ was, I was beginning to do this fanfiction.

Now seeing as how this isn't really a popular section of fanfiction dot net, I don't expect a flood of reviews coming into my inbox, but a couple of good reviews could do.

**SUMMARY: **Uka Uka is becoming frustrated with Cortex and his constant failures at world domination. Cortex and his minions throw another meeting and they come up with a plan to become the president of the United States. Looks like Crash and friends are heading to America!

**RATING: **"K+" for minor language and crude humor.

**NOTES:**

**-**Some of the character personalities and looks are based on _Crash: Mind over Mutant_ (i.e. Brio takes credit for everything, N. Gin's insane…). However, Uka Uka and Aku Aku are based on their old appearances. Mutants or titans or jacking will not be mentioned in the story.

-Also, although I mentioned that Crash will use his plane, I decided to change it to Coco and her plane. It's much better that way.

_Whenever Crash talks, it will be italicized. However, no matter how clear the sentence is, all he says is his usual gibberish._

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

A few miles away from Cortex Island was Wumpa Island, the home to our favorite orange-furred hero, Crash Bandicoot. He lived with his brainy younger sister Coco Bandicoot, his muscular "older brother" Crunch Bandicoot, and the spirit mask Aku Aku.

At the moment, it was spring cleaning at the house. Crash Bandicoot was mowing the lawn while Coco Bandicoot was washing the windows on her house. Neither of them were very happy to be cleaning.

Crash was pushing the lawn mower, when suddenly the motor shut off. Crash perked his head up, confused as to why it suddenly stopped. He walked over and pulled the start string, hoping to fire it back up. Nothing happened. Another go. Nothing happened. Frustrated, Crash pulled the string as hard as he could. This time, the lawn mower began running and shot forward. Crash's foot was caught, and so he was dragged right by him.

Crunch walked outside from inside Crash's house. He saw Crash being dragged by the lawnmower. "Stop messing around, Crash!" he scolded. "We got work that needs to be done!" He turned over to Coco, who was right next to him. He then squinted his eyes at the windows. "Coco, you missed a spot," he said.

"Oh Crunch, this is boring…" complained Coco.

"Well it's been a while since Cortex came up with his last plan," explained Crunch. "The least we can do is clean up around the house. A clean house is a happy house!"

Suddenly, Coco and Crunch turned around and saw the lawnmower flying towards them. Coco screamed while Crunch punched the mower with his metal fist, breaking it to pieces. Crash fell on his back. Crash was exhausted. "Boy, this ain't no time to be screwing around!" scolded Crunch.

"_It was the lawnmower's fault_!" mumbled Crash.

"Thanks to you, we have no lawn mower!" Crunch scolded. He then turned away from Crash. "Remember kids, don't play with lawnmowers! You could lose a finger!" He turned back to Crash. "Now let's tackle your room, boy!"

Crunch grabbed Crash by his hand and dragged him upstairs to his room. "Coco, why don't you go and clean out the garage?" Crunch asked.

"That'll take forever!" Coco complained again.

"Well then, you ain't got no time to talk do you?" Crunch asked. Crunch and Crash went upstairs to Crash's room. Coco reluctantly put down her window cleaner and bucket. She headed over to the garage. It wasn't really a garage. It was just a tool shed where Crash and Coco placed all of their old vehicles and mechanical toys.

Lately, since it been a while, the garage was cluttered with many items from previous adventures. Coco Bandicoot slid the garage door up and peered inside. It was dark and cluttered, but a lot of things brought back memories for Coco. "Oh, it's such a mess," she whined. "Well, might as well empty everything out first."

Coco began moving some crates and boxes around before she reached the vehicles. First she pulled out a baby blue board covered in stickers and dust. "Hey, my old snowboard!" exclaimed Coco. "I haven't used this in a long time. I should probably wash this later." She then threw the snowboard out of the garage. "What else is in here?" asked Coco.

She began scrimmaging around until she found a backpack-looking object with rockets. "Whoa, a jetpack! I wonder if Crash even remembers he still has this thing?" asked Coco. She tried to start it up, but nothing happened. "Hmm…must be out of fuel," she deduced. She then threw it outside against some boxes she was moving around. The jetpack then suddenly shot forward and flew out into the ocean with no one to control it! Coco suddenly watched as the jetpack collided with a ship and sunk it into the ocean. "Oops," she said, meekly. "Um…Crash did it!"

She then hid back inside the garage until she found a white jet ski with her name printed on the side. "Oh wow, my old jet ski!" Coco shouted, happily. "I used to love to ride this thing! I wonder why I stopped. Better yet, I wonder if it still works."

She opened a metal drawer and found the keys to the jet ski. She inserted it into the ignition and turned it. The jet ski tried to turn over, but it sounded like something blocked the jet. "Huh?" she asked herself. Coco turned to the back where the jet was and stuck her hand in. She tried to figure out what was causing the block. She felt something soft and dirty. She pulled her hand out…and along with it an old Wumpa Fruit, withered and covered in sludge and green mold. "Ewwww…Crash!" Coco shouted, disgusted as the rotten fruit.

She walked outside, threw the rotten Wumpa Fruit into the garage and washed her hands off in the ocean. Soon, everything around her grew dim. Coco looked up…and saw a huge airship flying over the other islands. The airship had a purple "N" on the side. It doesn't take a genius to find out the owner of the airship. "Cortex!" shouted Coco.

She ran back into Crash's house. Inside, she saw Aku Aku floating in the air while a pile of dirty T-shirts strewn all over the stairs. "Aku Aku, Cortex is up to no good!" she cried. "Where's Crash?!?"

"Crunch and Crash are upstairs cleaning out Crash's room," Aku Aku replied.

"Where did are these T-shirts come from?" asked Coco.

"Crash's closet."

"But he doesn't even wear clothes! He just wears the same pants over and over again."

"I know. This confuses me as well."

"Help me!" cried Crunch, from upstairs. "Crunch is drowning! Sea of decay!"

"Ummm…I don't think that neither of the two is going to be of much help to you," Aku Aku said.

"Well, we have to hurry! Cortex is flying away on his airship!" Coco explained.

"Oh…why does Cortex have to come up with a plan during spring cleaning?" Aku Aku asked. "Well, if we're going to chase after Cortex, perhaps I should come with you."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Meanwhile, onboard Cortex's airship, Neo Cortex, Nitrus Brio, Nefarious Tropy, and N. Gin were both overlooking the Lab Assistants piloting. "It's a good thing we have so many lab assistants," commented Cortex.

"It's all thanks to the Lab Assistant generator…which I invented!" added Brio.

"Right…" Cortex said. "Anyway, at the speed were going, we should arrive in North America in two days."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Little did anyone onboard realize that a small pink bi-plane was flying behind them. It was Coco, flying the 'Flying Queen'. Although it was covered in dents and had slight engine problems, the Flying Queen was running beautifully. Coco was wearing an aviator's mask while Aku Aku was hovering behind her. "Coco, are you sure this thing is working properly?" Aku Aku asked, anxiously.

"Of course!" Coco replied, happily. "It's only been eleven years!"

Suddenly, the plane shook around as the engine backfired. "It should hold," Coco commented. Once she got closer to the airship, she began to fire bullets from the onboard machine gun.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Everyone was jostled around as the airship was punctured. "What was that?" asked Cortex. Red lights flared and the alarms went off. "_Enemy Attack! Attitude dropping fast!_" the computer said.

"Huh?" asked Brio. "Enemy attack?"

The computer screen showed a pink bi-plane flying behind the airship. "Who is that?" asked Tropy.

"Oh! It's that stupid bandicoot's sister!" N. Gin shouted.

"She must be on to us," Brio said.

N. Tropy grabbed his giant tuning fork and began walking towards the back of the airship. "Don't worry Doctor," he said, in a refined voice. "I shall take her out with ease."

"No need N. Tropy," Cortex replied.

Cortex walked towards the Lab Assistants. "Attention everyone, put the ship on autopilot and return fire!" he commanded. "I need one of you to fix the hole!"

The Lad Assistants got up from their seats and began running towards the airship's hangers. In the hangars, there were mini biplanes ready to the Lab Assistants. They put on their aviation gear, boarded the planes, and set off into the sky.

Coco saw the Lab Assistants coming. "I knew this was going to happen," Coco remarked. She turned around to Aku Aku. "Aku Aku, you better hang on to something!"

"Hang on to what?" Aku Aku asked, angrily. "I don't have any han…AH!"

Aku Aku screamed as Coco quickly dove down towards the ocean. The Lab planes flew after her. Aku Aku was scared as the plane was quickly heading towards the ocean's surface. "I have a bad feeling about this!" shouted Aku Aku.

Right when the plane was about to hit the water, Coco quickly pulled up and began flying just above the ocean surface. Two of the enemy planes crashed into the ocean, but a few managed to survive and chase after Coco. "Coco, you got three of them on your tail!" Aku Aku said.

A barrage of bullets began flying by Coco. "I don't like this," complained Aku Aku.

"Don't worry!" Coco replied, confidently. "I can take them!"

Coco quickly swerved to the left, turning the plane on his side. She faced back at the enemy planes and fired a round of bullets towards them. One of them was hit and was send to a watery crash. The other two did a quick barrel roll, flying below Coco's plane. Coco again swerved to the side to try and chase after the enemy planes. The two enemy planes quickly separated and went into opposite directions. Coco was confused as to who she was going to go after.

Meanwhile, Cortex and the rest were watching the dogfight on the computer screen in the control room. "Wow…that bandicoot…SHE'S GOT SOME SKILLS!" N. Gin shouted.

"Yes, but even if she manages to defeat them all, I have a back-up plan, just in case," Brio remarked.

Coco had one plane behind her, chasing and shooting at her. Coco continued swaying from side-to-side to avoid the bullets. Aku Aku was in the back, stiff as a board (A/N: pun intended). Coco looked in front of her, and saw an enemy plane flying right towards her. She quickly ducked down. The two enemy planes crashed into each other.

"Nice one!" commented Aku Aku.

"That's all of them!" Coco shouted. "Now to take on Cortex and find out what he's up to."

"Darn it!" Cortex shouted, angrily. "Coco actually took out all the enemy planes!"

"Don't worry," Brio replied. He then lifted up a latch that was covering a big green button. "Like I said, I have a back-up plan…The Doom Missile…which I invented!"

"Hey, you can't say 'doom'!" argued N. Gin. "THAT'S MY WORD!"

"Nonsense," Brio replied. "I invented doom!"

Cortex let out an angry sigh as Brio and N. Gin continued arguing. He pressed the button.

From down below, a huge turret appeared and aimed at Coco's plane. It then fired a huge, metal rocket. Coco saw it and quickly turned around. "Uh oh," she said.

"That's not good," said Aku Aku, nervously.

"Maybe I can outmaneuver it!"

Coco tried flying in circles to try and lose the missile, but its guiding system was state-of-the-art. Coco couldn't shake it off. "This isn't good at all," Aku Aku complained.

"Um…" Coco replied. She didn't know what to do now.

The missile gained speed and knocked out one of Coco's wings. "Oh…nailed her!" N. Gin shouted, happily. The plane began spiraling out of ground as it began to head towards an island. "Mayday! We're going down!" Coco shouted.

"Doesn't this plane have an ejector seat?" Aku Aku asked, frantically.

"Oh yeah!" Coco shouted.

She reached underneath the console and pulled a red lever. Immediately, her seat flew into the air right before the plane crashed into the side of the mountain. AKu Aku levitated behind her as her ejector seat began falling towards the ocean. Coco then noticed that something was wrong. The parachute should have opened up. She pulled the emergency cord…and out from the back came a Wumpa Fruit. "Grrr…dang it Crash!" she shouted, angrily.

She continued screaming as her ejector seat landed into the ocean. She unstrapped herself and swam back up onto the surface. Coco continued to float as Aku Aku was again levitating above her. "Well…that went well now, didn't it?" he asked, sarcastically.

From the airship, Cortex and his minions saw the whole thing. "Wow…she survived," Tropy said.

"Should we send another DOOM missile?" asked N. Gin.

"What good would that do?" Cortex asked. "Besides, even if she survives, she won't be able to stop us now: not her or Crash!"

"Or Crunch," added Brio.

"Yeah, him too," Cortex said. He turned to the door when a Lab Assistant walked in. "Sir, the repairs are complete," he said in a monotonous voice.

"Excellent," Cortex replied. He turned back to the computer screen. "Now, let us continue our journey to America."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **Wow…I got one review! That's one more than I thought I would get. Thank you GothicChick! And to answer your review, Pinstripe will be in the story, but I won't be using the Crash Bandicoot 1 epilogue ending (though I think the CTR ending would be even funnier).

**TRIVIA:**

-In GothicChick's review, she was talking about how once you collected all the gems in _Crash Bandicoot_, you get alternate endings to the characters. Pinstripe's stated that he moved to Chicago and opened up a citywide sanitation company and after that he's saving for a gubernatorial (governor) campaign. However, in Ripper Roo's CTR ending, it said that he became a state governor and there is talk of him running for president. Count on me to work both of these into the story.

-All the stuff Coco pulled out of the garage was from _Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back_ (jetpack), _Crash Bandicoot: WARPED _(Flying Queen, jet ski), and _Wrath of Cortex_ (snowboard).

-The Lab Assistant generator was seen in the secret warp room from _Crash Bandicoot: WARPED_.

**NEXT TIME: **Coco Bandicoot washes up on the shore of Cortex Island. She figures that maybe she can find out Cortex's plans if she sneaks into his castle. While searching through her files, she finds something most people wanted to know: her creation.


	3. Breaking and Entering

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By narutofreak14

Wow, I'm actually getting a decent number of reviews. That makes me happy and it encourages me to go on with the story. Thank you all for your reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

**SUMMARY: **Uka Uka is becoming frustrated with Cortex and his constant failures at world domination. Cortex and his minions throw another meeting and they come up with a plan to become the president of the United States. Looks like Crash and friends are heading to America!

**RATING: **"K+" for minor language and crude humor.

**NOTES:**

**-**Some of the character personalities and looks are based on _Crash: Mind over Mutant_ (i.e. Brio takes credit for everything, N. Gin's insane…). However, Uka Uka and Aku Aku are based on their old appearances. Mutants or titans or jacking will not be mentioned in the story.

_Whenever Crash talks, it will be italicized. However, no matter how clear the sentence is, all he says is his usual gibberish._

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

After being shot down by Cortex's airship, Coco washed up onto the shore of the beach. She was unconscious. Coco's clothes and hair were wet from falling into the ocean. Aku Aku floated above her. He was worried. "Oh no, Coco! Please…say something!"

Soon enough, he heard her breathing softly. "Oh…thank the Gods," he muttered. Using his teeth, he dragged Coco over to a safe spot by the beach. "This is Cortex Island," he said worriedly. "This island is filled with animals just waiting to tear Coco apart. I better hurry and get Crash and Crunch over here."

Aku Aku spun around wildly until he disappeared, leaving Coco to sleep in a small cove close to shore.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Aku Aku suddenly appeared back in front of Crash's house. "There's no time to lose," he said to himself.

Inside the house, Crunch and Crash had just finished cleaning up Crash's room. His room was now sparking clean and many of the furniture came up. "See that Crash, your room is squeaky clean! You can walk in here now!" Crunch said, happily. Crash didn't answer. He fell asleep on his bed, exhausted. Crunch left Crash to sleep in his room and began walking down the hallway.

Just then, he saw Pura (A/N: Coco's pet tiger) come up from downstairs. He looked worried. "_Meow-meow-meow-meow?_ (translation: Have you seen Coco?)" asked Pura.

"Hey Pura, I'm glad I met you," Crunch said. He then lifted up a bucket of water and a brush. "It's time for your bath!"

Pura immediately turned around and began running down the stairs. "What are you doing? Get back here!" Crunch shouted as he began chasing him.

Aku Aku hastily floated into the house. "Crunch! Crash! I need your…" He stopped when he saw the house. "Oh wow, this place is pretty clean now," he mentioned briefly.

"Get back here, Pura!" Crunch shouted, from upstairs.

Aku Aku moved to the side when Pura ran out the door, with Crunch following behind him. "Crunch, wait! Coco is…in……trouble," Aku Aku said.

Aku Aku floated upstairs to Crash's room. "Crash! Crash, Coco needs your help!" Aku Aku said. He floated into his room and saw him sleeping in his bed. "Grrr…CRASH! WAKE UP!" Aku Aku shouted. Crash sat up in his bed. "_Hmmm?_" Crash asked, scratching his stomach.

"Crash, come with me quickly!" Aku Aku said.

Crash jumped out of bed and he and Aku Aku ran outside.

Crunch was trying to get Pura down from a rock so that he may give him a bath. Pura tensed his body up and growled at Crunch. "Come on Pura! Let Crunch wash you down! Listen to your master!" Crunch said.

"_Grrrr…Roar…Meow…Rawr!_ (translation: Crunch not master, Coco is master)" growled Pura.

"Come here, kitty!" Crunch shouted.

"Crunch, leave Pura alone," Aku Aku said. "Coco is in trouble on Cortex Island. We must help her."

"What she doing at Cortex's castle? She supposed to be cleaning the garage!"

"Let me explain…" Aku Aku said.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Crunch, Crash, and Aku Aku sat in a circle. Aku Aku had just explained the situation to them. "And so, Coco was shot down by Cortex's airship and she crashed into the water. She washed up on Cortex Island, but we have to bring her home before she gets killed."

"Then, we ain't time to talk! We need to hurry!" Crunch shouted. "Who knows what could happen to her!"

"_Oh no!_" Crash said, worriedly.

"Now, how are we going to get there?" asked Aku Aku. "I can't teleport both of you."

"Crunch shall swim there!" Crunch said, proudly.

"Ummm…swim? In shark-infested waters?" Aku Aku asked.

"Ain't no shark big enough to take me! What do you say Crash?"

Crunch looked at Crash, and then Crash looked out at the water. He saw a huge shark fin protruding the water surface, making him uneasy. He nodded his head no. "Come on now!" Crunch said. "You took on sharks before."

"That's because I was with him the whole time," Aku Aku added.

"Ah, never mind! Crunch will go!"

Crunch got up and dived into the ocean. "What are you doing?" Aku Aku asked. Crunch then began swimming out further into the ocean. Suddenly, a shark fin appeared again. Crash got up and was worried about Crunch. The shark poked its head out and began chasing after Crunch with sharp fangs. "Bring it on!" Crunch shouted, provoking the shark.

Soon enough, Crunch and the shark began fighting with each other. Crash was about to dive in, but Aku Aku stopped him. "Crunch is a big boy," Aku Aku said. "He'll win."

Crash scratched his head, trying to come up with a plan. After what Crunch did, darting into the water wasn't a safe idea. That and he can't swim. His head then turned to the garage. Coco had moved out most of the watercrafts out of the garage. A light bulb went off in his head. "_I got an idea!_" he shouted, happily.

He ran over to the garage. Crunch saw him run there. "What you doing, Crash?" he asked. Crash didn't answer him. He grabbed Coco's jet ski and began pushing it into the ocean. Aku Aku was a bit worried. "Um…Crash, are you sure you can drive a jet ski?" Aku Aku asked. Crash just flashed a big smile at him before revving up the engine.

The jet ski took off and Crash began racing towards Cortex Island with Aku Aku floating beside him. He temporarily stopped to rescue Crunch, who looked beaten-up. He extended his hand out, but Crunch swatted it away. "You go on, Crash!" Crunch shouted. "Me and Jaws here have business to settle!"

Crash screamed as the shark appeared and bared its fangs. Crunch was able to stop the shark from attacking Crash. "Just go, Crash! I'll catch up!" Crunch shouted again. Crash really didn't want to leave Crunch behind. "Go!" Crunch shouted again.

Crash nodded his head and rode off towards Cortex Island, leaving Crunch to fight off the shark.

Crash Bandicoot turned the handle, making the jet ski go much faster. They sped around N. Sanity Island (Crash's old home) and hurried to Cortex Island. The sea was getting choppy and the waves bobbed the jet ski around, but Crash Bandicoot was not going to be stopped. "We're almost there!" Aku Aku shouted.

"_Woohoo!_" Crash shouted, happily.

Around the corner, there were two pirates in a rowboat. One was dressed in a raggy white shirt and blue pants while the captain was dressed in a sharp, red coat. Inside their rowboat was a treasure chest overflowing with gold coins, gems, and crystals. "Finally, after years of searching, my grandparent's lost treasure chest has been found by the great Captain Rosso!" the captain shouted, proudly.

"And his first mate Roger!" his first mate replied.

"Why should you get credit for what I done? All you did was find the map, decipher the clues, and found the "X" mark."

Suddenly, they heard the sound of a motor running. "Hear that captain?" first mate Roger asked.

Captain Rosso and Roger turned and saw Crash speeding around the corner of the island towards them. Unfortunately, Crash didn't see until it was too late. "Watch out!" Aku Aku shouted.

"_Ah!_" Crash shouted.

Luckily for Crash, the water bobbed him up in the air. But the bottom of the jet ski made contact with the rowboat, capsizing it. Captain Rosso, Roger, and the treasure chest fell into the water. The treasure chest sank to the bottom of the ocean. "No! My booty!" Rosso shouted. "You miserable bandicoot! I shall have your head!"

Neither Crash or Aku Aku heard him, they just continued on their way.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Back on Cortex Island, Coco was starting to regain consciousness. Her mind was in daze. She couldn't remember anything. "Ow…my aching head," she groaned quietly. She sat up and looked around her surroundings. "Where am I?" she asked herself. "Last thing I remember was falling towards the ocean." She looked and saw the castle. "Isn't that Cortex's castle?" she asked herself.

She soon heard the sound of a motor running. She turned around and saw Crash swerving out of control on the jet ski in the water. "Crash?"

Suddenly, the jet ski jumped onto the sand of the beach. Coco jumped out the way as the jet ski crashed into the tree, destroying it. "What in the world was that?!?" Coco asked.

Crash appeared from the wreck. Once Crash saw Coco, he jumped onto her and began hugging her. "Okay…okay…yeah Crash, it's nice to see you too," Coco replied as her brother whipped her around.

"Coco, he's just happy that you haven't died," Aku Aku explained.

"_Uh-huh!_" Crash replied, happily.

"And now that you are, let's go back to Wumpa Island!" Aku Aku shouted.

"Su…wait!" Coco said. "I…I remember why I was going to Cortex Island! I'm trying to find out what Cortex is up to."

"Coco, its best if we leave this island!" Aku Aku said.

"Not until we find out what Cortex is up to!" Coco said. "Besides…the jet ski is destroyed. We can't go anywhere."

"But…"

"Don't worry, Aku Aku. Crash is here with me and he broke into Cortex's lab before."

Crash flexed his (no-existent) muscles. "Well, alright. I guess since we have no choice," Aku Aku said. "I'll go and see how Crunch is doing. I'll be back." Aku Aku then disappeared in a cloud of blue smoke.

Coco turned to Crash. Crash smiled back at her. "Let's stop Cortex…at whatever he was doing," Coco said.

"_Yeah!_" Crash replied, happily.

The two then began walking up the dirt road towards the front door of Cortex Castle.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

They arrived at the doorstep of Cortex Island. The two hid behind some bushes. They looked at the door and saw that the entrance to the castle was guarded by security cameras. They looked up at the top of the castle. "Wow…this is a huge castle," she whispered to herself.

"_Mm-hmm_," agreed Crash.

They looked back at the entrance. The cameras had little laser pointers attached to them and they seemed to be motion-detected. "If those cameras pick us up, the guards will come out and kill us," commented Coco. Crash, once again, had an idea.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Inside the Cortex Castle surveillance room, two Lab Assistants were watching over the security monitors. The Lab Assistants were caught off-guard when a small alarm went off. They looked at the monitors and saw that Coco Bandicoot was outside of the front door. "_Crash, what are you doing? They're going to kill me!!!_" Coco shouted, angrily on the monitor. They bolted out of his seat and began running outside.

The Lab Assistants unlocked the door and stepped outside to see what all the commotion was about. They looked around and saw nothing. They scratched his head, confused as to where Coco Bandicoot was.

Suddenly, Coco and Crash came up from behind and karate-chopped/punched them across the back of the neck. The impact caused the robotic Lab Assistants' heads to droop and their legs and arms to go limb. "Nice work Crash!" complimented Coco. "I told you watching ninja movies would pay off in the long run." Crash gave her a thumbs-up. The two dragged the deactivated Lab Assistants back to their hiding place. Fortunately, they were out of the camera's range, so she couldn't be picked up.

The two emerged from the bushes, this time wearing thick glasses and lab coats as disguises that they clearly had taken it from the Lab Assistant. They casually walked through the front door and entered the castle. "_Already, we're in! Now we just need to get inside Cortex's office,_" Crash thought. "_But…where was it? It's been forever since I entered his castle._"

The two continued through the many hallways of the Cortex Laboratory. They passed by a Lab Assistant. "Good day fellow scientist," she said.

"_Yeah…how ya doing?_" Crash asked. The Lab Assistant just waved at them. But he quickly turned his head around. "_There's something about the two that makes them suspicious,_" the Lab Assistant thought. He just scratched his head in confusion, but carried on his way.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

After hours of searching, Crash and Coco finally found the long stairway that led to Cortex's laboratory. "This leads up to his laboratory," Coco said.

"_Let's go!_" Crash shouted, happily.

**THIRTY MINUTES LATER…**

The two reached the top step and the two collapsed on their back, short of breath and exhausted. "Geez…forget cameras," panted Coco. "All you need is a bunch of stairs and that's all the security you need."

"_Amen,_" Crash panted.

The two then got up and opened the door to Cortex's lab. "Okay, this is it!" she said. Crash and Coco took off the lab coats, seeing as they didn't need them anymore. They were now in their regular clothes.

Inside Cortex's lab, there were beakers, a giant computer, several dozen file cabinets, and a big, round table in the center. "Now to find Cortex's plans," Coco said.

Crash looked around and then pointed at the file cabinets. "Good thinking," Coco said.

The two started with the file cabinets. Each one of the drawers were labeled differently. Coco started with the ones labeled "PLANS" while Crash searched through "LAB NOTES." They began searching through the many beige folders inside. "Let's see…" muttered Coco. "We have _Evolved Army of Animals_, _Cortex Space Station_, _Time Twister,_ _Elementals_…all of these are just plans that have failed, thanks to me and Crash!"

She closed that drawer and was about to open another one, but she heard Crash sniffing. "Find anything Crash?" asked Coco.

Crash didn't reply. Coco looked inside the cabinet. The files listed: _Evolving Dingodile,_ _Evolving Pinstripe…_

"Ohhh…now these are just files on how Cortex and Brio created those mutant minions," Coco complained. She looked at the file in Crash's hand. It read: _Evolving Tawna Bandicoot._ "Tawna?" Coco asked. "Isn't that your old girlfriend from the first adventure?" Crash just stared at a file and his eyes began to water. Inside were detailed pictures of Tawna. "Hmmm…didn't she break up with you and got together with Pinstripe?" asked Coco.

Crash began bawling as loud as he could. Coco was worried. "Crash! Quiet! We're breaking and entering!" she shouted. Crash didn't listen. He continued crying his eyes. Coco swatted the file from Crash's hands. She began to hug him, which seemed to quiet him down. "There, there, it's okay! Tawna was nothing but a no-good female bandicoot. She doesn't deserve you."

Crash wiped his eyes off, feeling slightly better. "That's better," Coco said, patting his back. "Now let me look through the rest of these files while you try to get on Cortex's computer."

"_Okay,_" Crash whimpered. He got up and walked up to the keyboard. Coco looked through the rest of the files in the cabinet.

However, she stopped and her eyes opened-wide when she saw one folder in particular: _Evolving Coco Bandicoot_.

"Evolving…me?" Coco asked. She opened the folder and inside were numerous amounts of notes describing everything: body features, parts of her brain, everything that was downloaded into her brain, etc. She began to ponder to herself. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember how she was created or how she met up with Crash. "None of that stuff was put into the games…" she mumbled.

Then, a little brown leather notebook fell out from the folder. Coco picked it up in her hands. _The Creation of the Female Bandicoot by Doctor Nitrus Brio_ was written on the cover of the book_. _"This is it!" she exclaimed. "Brio must have the answers everyone wants." She took a quick glance around, making sure no one could walk in on her. All she saw was Crash struggling to turn the computer on. She opened the book and turned to page one. She began to read the first entry.

"Day One," began Coco.

_Entry One: Exposure_

_I have told Doctor Cortex that the Cortex Vortex was not ready and was unpredictable with its results and he failed to listen to me. The Bandicoot 1.0 project was a rejected failure. The bandicoot, apparently, was too kind in its nature and the Vortex was unable to brainwash him. Cortex then chased the bandicoot around with his ray gun before the bandicoot jumped out of the window and fell to hopefully an ultimately death_.

Coco began to visualize the events in her head.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**DURING THE FIRST GAME…**

_**(A/N: Remember, back then, Brio let Cortex take credit for everything and he also laughed randomly and stuttered.)**_

Up in the highest towers of Cortex Castle, an evil experiment was underway. Doctor Neo Cortex and Doctor Nitrus Brio had strapped an orange Eastern Barred Bandicoot down onto a metal table. Unfortunately, the bandicoot was too kind, thus leading to rejection. Cortex chased the bandicoot around his lab with a ray gun. "Failure again!" Cortex shouted, as he chased the bandicoot around. "Capture him!"

Soon, the bandicoot jumped through the glass window of the lab. Unfortunately, he didn't realize the long drop until it was too late. "Uh oh!" the bandicoot said, before falling towards the ground.

However, Cortex didn't care. He turned his attention to a young and attractive she-bandicoot. She was being restrained by two lab assistants. "Prepare the female bandicoot!" smirked Cortex.

_It was then that the she-bandicoot, called Tawna at the time, began to resist going into the Cortex Vortex. I worried that she would be rejected like the last bandicoot, so I took drastic measures._

Tawna was doing her best to get out of going through the Vortex. She kicked, screamed, and made herself feel like a dead weight. The Lab Assistants were having a hard time pulling her to the chair. "Come on men! Put your back into it!" Cortex demanded.

Soon enough, Tawna was forced down into the Vortex chair. Her arms were chained down to keep her from moving. "Now…into the Vortex!" shouted Cortex.

Brio pulled the lever several times, raising the seat up into the Vortex. Right when the Vortex was about to brainwash Tawna, it shut off without warning. "Hmm?" Cortex asked. "N. Brio, what happened?!?"

"I-I-I-I do not k-know," stuttered Brio as he pulled the lever several times. "It must be overloaded. We did evolve a lot of animals today."

"Grrr…Brio, you better have this machine operational by morning or else!" Cortex demanded. He turned to the Lab Assistants, who were letting Tawna go. "Assistants, throw the female into her cell," he demanded.

"Leave her," Brio said. "I shall deal with her myself."

Cortex then left the room with the Lab Assistants. Tawna lied on the floor, scared out of her mind. "Okay, you know the drill! B-B-B-Back to your cell now!" asserted Brio. Tawna did as she was told. She walked back into her cell. But before slamming the door, Brio walked inside. In the corner of the cell, there was a blue blanket covering something…or someone. Brio lifted it off, and revealed another female bandicoot, sleeping quietly. This bandicoot was much shorter than Tawna was, but because of how young she was, it was excusable. This…was Coco Bandicoot.

Brio smiled. "That fool…" he muttered under his breath. He lifted the sleeping Coco from the floor and carried her towards the Evolvo-Ray. He locked Tawna in her cell. Tawna watched as Brio strapped Coco onto the metal table, underneath the Evolvo-Ray. "That Cortex…a-a-always taking c-c-credit for everything. Well, no more!" stuttered Brio.

_You see, I hated how Cortex took credit for my Evolvo-Ray and my mutation techniques! So, I came up with a plan. Cortex's bandicoot failed. My bandicoot was going to be much smarter than the other female that Cortex plans on using. Every night, when Cortex wanted to evolve his female bandicoot, I would sabotage the Cortex Vortex so that he would get angry and expect me to fix it. Then, as he slept, I would work on my female bandicoot. I've been doing this for about three months now. My female bandicoot shall lead the army into world domination!_

Brio stepped aside and pushed the button. The Evolvo-Ray powered up and sent an electrical charge through Coco's body. Coco's eyes opened wide as the shocks to her body evolved her, giving her life.

Tawna watched as Coco was being put through the Evolvo-Ray. Soon, after two minutes, the Evolvo-Ray quieted down and Coco began moving her head, looking around. Brio was happy. "Yes…YES!" he shouted, triumphantly. Brio got into her face. "Greetings, I am N-N-N-Nitrus B-B-Brio…your creator!" Brio said, proudly.

Coco didn't reply. She looked very scared and confused. "I know this is strange to you, but you have been evolved so that you may walk on two legs and think and talk for yourself," explained Brio. Brio then released Coco. Coco got onto her two feet, but immediately stumbled. Brio caught her before she fell on her face. "Oh no…it's okay! It's okay," he reassured her. He helped her walk towards the Cortex Vortex. "The 'walking-on-two-legs' f-f-f-feels f-funny at first, but some p-p-practice and you'll g-g-g-get used to it."

Brio then stared at her again. "Hmmm…you need a name. I know! Your name…it shall be Coco Bandicoot!" he said.

"C…C…Co…C…Coc…" Coco mumbled.

"Awww…you can't talk right now, can you?" asked Brio. Brio sat her down in a steel chair right below the Cortex Vortex. "Don't worry," he said. "T-T-This machine shall f-f-fix everything!"

After strapping her down, Brio went over to the counter and picked up a big lithium battery, the same size as a car battery. He opened the latch to the Vortex's generator and inserted the battery inside. He took it out earlier to sabotage the machine so that Cortex couldn't evolve Tawna. "Now then, into the V-V-VORTEX!" stuttered Brio, loudly.

He pulled the lever several times, lifting the seat up until Coco was inside the machine. Brio turned back to the computer and typed down some codes. "Let's see…History Network, b-b-basic motor skills, languages, it's all s-s-set!" he stuttered again.

A bright light radiated from the Vortex as several television programs programmed them into Coco's brain.

**ABRUPT END HERE…**

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"What happened after that?" Coco asked herself.

She jumped up and scattered everything when an alarm went off.

"_Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!_"

"What?" asked Coco. "What's happening?"

She looked to the computer. Crash was panicking. Apparently, to get into Cortex's computer, you needed a password. Unfortunately, Crash didn't know what it was, so he made several guesses. One too many guess caused the alarm to go off. "Darn it, Crash! I haven't found anything yet!" scolded Coco.

"_Sorry!_" apologized Crash.

Suddenly, the metal door opened up and several lab assistants burst in with ray guns pointed at Crash and Coco. Crash immediately put his hands up. Coco reluctantly did afterwards. "Crash? Coco?" asked a voice.

Coco recognized the voice right away. "Nina…" she said.

"Good guess," Nina replied, as she entered the room. "And what luck too! For my science homework, I have to dissect an animal. And I think I've found my two subjects."

Crash whimpered as Coco stared angrily at Nina.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **Yeah, I hope you people enjoyed my little rendition of how Coco Bandicoot came to fruition. It sucks that she was just suddenly put into Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back without any introduction.

As for the random pirates, they'll make another appearance later on.

**TRIVIA:**

-It says in the Japanese instruction manual for _Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back_ that Tawna dumped Crash Bandicoot for Pinstripe. Both Pinstripe and Tawna will make an appearance in my story.

-Pura was the tiger that Coco rode in some levels in _Crash Bandicoot: WARPED_. And he is a boy. I originally thought he was a girl.

**NEXT TIME:**

Nina Cortex has captured Crash and Coco and is holding them in her room. She explains Cortex's plans to the two. After a quick phone call from her uncle Cortex, Coco and Crash begins to learn about her hardships at the Evil Public School and her uncle's high expectations. But is she really telling the truth or is she putting on an act?

The only one who could save them now is Crunch Bandicoot, but he's busy fighting off the shark. Will he be able to save them or will he become shark bait?


	4. Breaking and Rescuing

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By narutofreak14

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Crash Bandicoot. I should have added this in the previous chapters, but I didn't, so I'm adding them here.

**NOTES: **_Whenever Crash talks, it will be italicized. However, no matter how clear the sentence is, all he says is his usual gibberish._

The following pokes fun at some politicians. Some names have been changed to protect them.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Aku Aku suddenly appeared over the ocean. "I better hurry," Aku Aku said, worriedly. "Who knows what Nina will do Coco and Crash!"

"Yeehaw! Ride the waves, shark-y!" shouted a voice.

Aku Aku turned and saw Crunch, bruised and mauled, riding on a shark, battered and beaten-up. Crunch saw Aku Aku and commanded the shark to stop underneath him. "Crunch, you actually defeated the shark," Aku Aku said, sounding surprised.

"Suffered a few scratches, but it was a good fight!" Crunch said, flexing his robotic arm. Once again, Crunch turned away from Aku Aku. "Remember children…don't torture sea creatures. They're your friends!" He turned back to Aku Aku. "Now then, where's Crash? Did he save Coco?" Crunch asked.

Aku Aku turned away. "Um…well…"

"He failed, didn't he?" Crunch asked. "Ah man…now it's up to me to save Coco and Crash!"

"We better hurry! Nina has them captured and she's very unpredictable."

Crunch turned to the shark he was riding on. "Here that? My friends are in trouble! Let's go! Swim to Cortex Island, fool!" The shark had no choice but to listen to Crunch. He dove underneath the water and sped towards Cortex Island.

On the way, there was an overturned rowboat floating in the sea. Two pirates hung onto the sides. "Where is my ship?" the captain asked, angrily.

"Sir…maybe if we turned the boat over, we can try rowing back to the ship," the first mate asked.

"Well, hurry up and get it on its side!"

The captain and his first mate were doing their best to lift the rowboat right-side-up. Suddenly, the boat was broken in half when Crunch and the shark sped through it. "Darn bandicoots!" the captain shouted, angrily.

"You supposed to yield to sea creatures, sucka!" Crunch shouted back.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Back at Cortex's Castle, Nina Cortex has strapped Crash and Coco Bandicoot down to two metal tables. Their hands and feet were restrained with leather straps. They couldn't move. All the two could do was stare at the ceiling. Nina Cortex circled around the two, laughing and mocking at them. She wore a black lab coat. "Hahaha…it's funny," she began. "I was coming up with plans on how to stall you two, and you two made it easy by breaking into the lab."

"_Let us go!_" Crash shouted.

"No," Nina replied, quickly.

"Then tell us what you're uncle is planning!" Coco shouted.

"I will in time, Coco…in time," Nina said. "Until then, I want to test a new invention of mine."

"New invention?" asked Coco.

Nina took a remote out of her pocket and pressed a button. Some of the machinery began to move on a rotating arm. It was similar to what someone would find in a dentist's office, but larger and more metallic. Crash shivered in fear as a giant ray gun was pointed at his face. "_Ah!_" screamed Crash.

"What is that?" asked Coco. "It looks like the Evolvo-Ray!"

"You're close, but as always, you're dumber than your brother."

Crash smiled at the 'compliment', though Coco was less-than-happy. "This uses the same technology as the Evolvo-Ray, but this machine is better than what that crackpot Brio could ever dream of!" explained Nina. "This machine is capable of actually _**reversing**_ the effects of the Evolvo-Ray. If I were to use it on, say…you guys…you both will return to just regular bandicoots! I call it…the _**Un**_-Evolvo Ray!"

"Wow…that is such a creative name," Coco said, sarcastically.

"Hey, shut up! I narrowed it down to either the _**De**_-Evolvo Ray or the _**Un**_-Evolvo Ray."

"And both names suck!" Coco replied.

"Just for that, you're going to be its first subject!" Nina said.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Crunch had arrived on the Shore of Cortex Island. He disembarked the shark and walked onto the sandy beach. "Thank you, Bruce! I'll take it from here!" waved Crunch. The shark then poked its head up. "Thank you! Remember…fish are friends, not food!" he shouted back. He hurriedly ran away from the island. "Hmmm…I think I heard that from a movie somewhere," Aku Aku said.

"Never mind the pop culture reference. We got to save Crash…and Coco!" interrupted Crunch. Crunch turned towards the castle and ran towards the entrance of the castle.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

The machine moved until it was above Coco's face. Coco just smiled, not really intimidated by the huge ray gun in her face. Nina went over to the computer and began typing in a code. "Initiating power-up sequence!" she shouted.

The Un-Evolvo Ray began to emit a bright light as it powered up. Crash whimpered in fear. Nina smirked and laughed at Crash's fear. "I'm going to do what my uncle has spend years trying to do…kill you bandicoots!"

Suddenly, he lights began flickering. Nina was worried. "Oh great! Not again!" she shouted, angrily. The Un-Evolvo Ray shut down and the room went dark. In fact, all of the lights in the room…actually the lights in the whole castle shut off.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Crunch Bandicoot continued up the dirt path until he reached the entrance to the castle. He dove behind some rocks when he saw motion-detected cameras. "Ah man, how am I going to get inside?" asked Crunch.

"You can just rip the door open, can't you?" asked Aku Aku.

"I mean the cameras! They are going to set the alarm off!"

Suddenly, Crunch saw the lights flickering, before they turned off. The cameras' laser pointers grew dim and the cameras themselves both turned to the ground, deactivated. "Huh…that was lucky," muttered Crunch. Crunch stood up from behind the rocks and ran to the door. Using his mighty hands, he ripped the metal door open and stepped inside the dark hallways.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"Look, you idiots better get the power working again before my uncle comes back home!" Nina shouted in a telephone.

"_We'll do our best!_" Lab Assistant said on the other line.

"I need more than your best! My uncle left me in charge of the castle! If I screw this up, he'll never let me back into Madame Amberly's Academy of Evil!"

"_We'll fix the power, ma'am._"

"You better!"

Nina then hung up the phone. To provide some light in the room, she had to set up old-fashioned candles, but it provided little light. "I knew this would happen…" she muttered, as she grabbed her temples in frustration. "Every time I start running the Un-Evolvo Ray, the power always goes out."

"Well, you know what they say: failure runs in the Cortex family!" Coco shouted.

"Shut up!" Nina shouted. "My uncle has a brilliant plan that will bring dignity back to the Cortex name!"

"_What's his evil plan?_" Crash asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Nina said.

She walked over and began pressing buttons on the computer. "Hey, how can the computer still run if the electricity is out?" asked Coco.

"It has its own back-up generator," Nina replied.

The computer then started to show a video. It first showed a black screen with the "N" logo. "_Paid for by the Cortex-Brio for Presidency Campaign_," a voice said, quietly and quickly.

"Presidency? Cortex is trying to be president?!?" Coco asked.

"Shut up!" Nina replied, loudly.

Cortex then appeared, standing in front of an American flag wearing a business suit. "The Star-Spangled Banner" was playing in the background. Then, a voice began to speak. "_N. tegrity…N. telligence…N. Novation…What do these words have in common? They are words that can describe Neo Cortex_."

"_Yeah right_," Crash murmured.

"Shush!" Nina said.

The video continued playing a montage of Cortex, usually speaking to a certain group of people. "_Yes, lots of things can be said about Neo Cortex, but one that is most often said…he represents the American people_."

After the montage, N. Tropy appeared on-screen wearing an old guy's mask and a blue business suit. "Hello…I am Senator Joe McPayne," N. Tropy said, disguising his voice. "I ran against Cortex for the Republican vote, but his eyes told me he would be a better pick."

Then, N. Brio appeared. This time, he was wearing a white wig and a business suit. "Greetings! I am former Democratic President, Clint Billton," Brio said. "I may be a Democrat, but I believe that Neo Cortex can lead America into a prosperous future. Oh…but don't tell you-know-who."

Finally, the video ended with Cortex and Brio, back-to-back, with the American flag in the background. "_Go for a winner! Go for a magnificent future! Vote Senator Cortex and Brio for Presidency!_"

The screen then went blank. "You're kidding me!" Coco shouted. "Cortex for President?!? He's no Senator!"

"_Yeah!_" Crash shouted.

"But Americans don't know anybody in the Senate. So anyone can just come up and say they're Senators, and the American people will believe it."

"How dare you! You're taking advantage of Americans to!"

"Not me, my uncle is the one doing that," explained Nina. "I'm the one staying here, watching over the castle, trying to learn 'responsibility'…as if nothing I do is good enough for him. He wasn't even impressed with my Un-Evolvo Ray."

"Gee…I wonder why not," Coco said, sarcastically.

"Sometimes, I envy you bandicoots," Nina said. "You're all related to Cortex, but he doesn't care about you. I'm his niece, and he always pushes me to be the best evil scientist I can be."

Nina then slapped herself. "Why am I telling you guys this? I got other inventions to test on you two!"

"Like what?" asked Coco.

"Well Coco, since you asked, I've been coming up with more inventions then you can ever come with…and they do more than just recycle butter!" explained Nina.

"Hey, recycling butter will one day…" began Coco.

"Recycling butter is a useless innovation that will do no good to the world!" interrupted Nina, abruptly. "The sooner you realize that, the sooner people will start liking you again!"

Coco's eyes opened wide. "Ouch…" she muttered. She felt hurt.

Nina then went back to working on her machine. She pushed the Un-Evolvo Ray back into its original position. She then grabbed another machine and lifted it in her hands. It looked like Cortex's Ray Gun on steroids. "Now Coco, I want to show you…Ah!"

Nina yelped as she fell to the floor flat on her face, tripping over a metal toolbox. Crash and Coco laughed hysterically as Nina got up and kicked the toolbox aside. "Shut up!" Nina shouted, angrily. Coco and Crash continued laughing at her.

"I said shut up! Grrrrr…stupid blackout!" Nina growled, angrily. "I can't believe this! Me being clumsy and everyone laughing at me! You think that after feeling like this at the Evil Public School, I'd be used to it. WRONG!"

"What is your Evil Public School like?" Coco asked.

"It's exactly like how it sounds…it's an evil school. Nobody is your friend! None of the teachers like you! But you wouldn't know that, Coco! I bet you don't even go to school!"

"No, I don't. I got smart because…because…"

It hit Coco Bandicoot. "Wait a minute…how did I become smart?" asked Coco.

"Gee…maybe you want to read about in the notes dating your creation," Nina said.

"My notes? My notes!" Coco shouted. "Please, let me read them! If you're going to kill me and Crash, then at least let me read how I was created."

"Are you serious?" asked Nina. She then picked up the same leather notebook that Coco was reading before she was captured. Coco began struggling at her restraints. "Give me that!" she shouted.

"You don't know anything about your creation, do you?" asked Nina.

"Of course not! Why do you think I began reading it?" asked Coco.

Coco grew worried as Nina stepped closer to a candle. She hovered the notebook over the flame. "Ummm…Nina, that book is getting a little too close to the fire there," commented Coco.

"Duh," Nina said.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Crunch Bandicoot continued his way down the dark hallways of Cortex Castle, using Aku Aku as a light source. "Where Cortex's laboratory?" asked Crunch.

"It's usually always at the top of the castle, so we should be heading upstairs," explained Aku Aku.

"Man, I can't even find the stairs!" Crunch shouted.

"Shush!" Aku Aku said, suddenly. He turned down his light. "Somebody's down the hallway."

Crunch and Aku Aku snuck around the dark corner. They saw two lab assistants working on a fuse box. "Hard to believe that one small fuse box controls power to the entire castle," a lab assistant said in a monotonous tone.

"Yes, it's weird indeed," the other replied.

Crunch quietly began sneaking up behind them in the darkness. Crunch quietly pulled away a lab assistant. The lab assistant didn't notice. He continued working on the fuse box. "So anyway, I've always had plans to become an evil scientist myself. Do you think that's funny?" asked the lab assistant. "Because the others think that's funny."

The lab assistant waited for a reply, but got nothing. "Are you listening to me?" he asked. He turned and saw Crunch standing in the darkness…with menacing eyes. Crunch just laughed, as he cracked his knuckles. "Oh no!" the lab assistant said. Crunch grabbed the lab assistant and deactivated its circuits.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Nina smirked at Crash and Coco, the latter of which was worried about Nina destroying the notes on her past. But then suddenly, the lights in the room came back on and the machines powered up again. "Ah!" exclaimed Nina, happily. "Well then, now that the power is back on, let's go back to working on the Un-Evolvo Ray!"

"_Ah man!_" Crash thought, sadly.

Suddenly, the alarms and red lights went off again. Nina dropped the notebook on the table and switched the computer to the security cameras. Nina scanned every monitor until she saw one, depicting two lab assistants in their underwear, tied up and their mouths taped shut. "What in the world?" asked Nina. She turned back to Coco and Crash. "Crunch is here, isn't here?"

"No," Coco replied.

"_He's fighting a shark in the ocean,_" added Crash. Nina gave him a nasty glare, while Crash just smiled back at her.

Suddenly, the door burst open. The explosion knocked Nina unconscious. "Need some help?" asked a voice. The person stepped inside. It turned out to be Crunch Bandicoot, with Aku Aku floating behind him. "Crunch, you're here!" Coco said, happily.

"_You beat the shark!_" Crash shouted, happily.

"We better hurry! Now that they know I'm here, they're going to do everything they can to stop us," Crunch said, as he released Coco and Crash.

Crash and Coco got onto their feet and wasted no time booking it out of the lab. But Coco stopped in her tracks. Aku Aku, Crunch and Crash stopped by the doorway, looking back at her. "What are you doing?" asked Crunch.

"I forgot something," Coco said.

"Forget it, Coco!" Aku Aku shouted. "The guards are coming"

Coco paid no attention to them. She ran back towards the table to grab the notes of her creation.

Suddenly, the door slid open again and two lab assistants armed with ray guns entered the room. "Halt, intruder!" the lab assistant said. Both of them then fired off plasma shots towards Crash and Crunch. The two ducked out of the way as the plasma shots continued on their way. One of the shots was a few inches away from hitting Coco. Coco flew backwards and the pages in the leather notebook were scattered around the room.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the plasma shots hit and blew up the file cabinets, sending pages of evolution notes flying in the air, mixed with Coco's notes. "No!" Coco screamed.

Crash quickly dodged the plasma shots and used his spin-attack to knock out the guards. "Good job, Crash!" Aku Aku said. He turned back to Coco. "Coco, forget the papers and let's go!"

Coco jumping around, grabbing every single piece of paper she could while it was still flying in the air. "Coco! Let's go!" Crunch shouted.

Coco really didn't want to leave without the notes she desperately wants, but she really didn't have a choice. She just collected a bunch of notes and ran off with Crash, Aku Aku, and Crunch.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

After dodging the guards, the Bandicoots and Aku Aku managed to get back home to Wumpa Island. To get back, they 'borrowed' one of N. Gin's mini boats and drove it back to Wumpa Island.

That night, they all met at Crash's house to discuss Cortex's plan. "So that's what Cortex is planning," Aku Aku mentioned.

"Yes, his plan is to win the election in America and become the President. That is what I just got through telling you," answered Coco.

"_We got to stop him!_" Crash mumbled.

"Oohhhh…I just know my evil brother is involved in this somehow. Cortex actually picked a good time to become a U.S. President," Aku Aku mentioned. "Lately, America's president hasn't been very popular with his people. Just last week, a guy from Canada threw a shoe at him."

"Oh yeah, I saw that on the internet! He-he…that was pretty funny!" Crunch laughed.

"_Hehehehehe_," laughed Crash.

"And check this out," Coco said.

Coco pulled out a recent newspaper. The headline read: **America's Recession Grows Worse**. "_Hmmm?_" Crash asked.

"The stock market went down a few points in America. Things are bad. People are losing their homes and jobs, car companies are going down, and the President does nothing to solve the problems," explained Coco.

"Basically, Cortex can say anything and they'll elect him!" Crunch said.

"Well then, looks like we don't have much of a choice," Aku Aku added. "We must follow Cortex and his minions and make sure he doesn't win that election!"

"Then it's settled," Crunch said. "Crash, Coco! Pack your most professional suits! The Bandicoots are going to America!"

"Alright!" Coco shouted, happily.

"_Woohoo!_" Crash shouted, happily.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**THE NEXT DAY IN AMERICA…**

In Chicago, Ohio, another board meeting was taking place at the Potoroo Sanitation Company. A group of suit-and-tie-wearing executives surrounded a round table. A potoroo dressed in a red pinstriped suit and had his hair slicked back sat at the front of the table. Standing beside this slick gangster was a beautiful and attractive female bandicoot. She had long and wavy blonde hair, tied in a ponytail for the occasion. She wore a grey suit, wore red lipstick on her poofy lips, and had a huge bust (A/N: Sorry, I couldn't resist. They're just there). The two stood over the men at the round table.

"Alright gentlemen and I use that term somewhat loosely," the potoroo said. He had a stereotypical, Italian mafia accent to his voice. "It's the end of the week and that means another staff meeting."

The potoroo turned to one of his men, a skinny, nerd-looking person with coke-bottle glasses. "You're the treasurer. How are our stocks doing?" he asked.

"Oh…umm…ah…yes…um…yes, Mister Pinstripe…sir," stuttered the treasurer. "Umm…the…the news is…is not good…sir."

"Well, what happened?" asked Pinstripe.

The treasurer then took out a cardboard line chart. It was a huge line growing down…and up…and then sharply down. Pinstripe was shocked. "What…what…in the world…" stuttered Pinstripe.

"Easy Pinstripe," the female bandicoot said, easing him. "Remember you anger management."

"How am I losing money? I run a garbage company!" protested Pinstripe.

"Well, with the way the American economy is, people aren't buying things. And if they're not buying things, they're not throwing anything away either," explained an executive.

"They're not throwing anything away?!? Not even that bootlegged cereal from Mexico?" Pinstripe asked.

"They're holding on to that," an executive mentioned.

"Not too much, people are becoming environmentalists, so they have begun to…recycle," added another executive.

Pinstripe began rubbing the temples of eye, stressed out of his mind. "Okay…okay," he said, calmly. "My company is in the red now…so that means we'll have to sacrifice luxuries and lay off a few people. We'll start with you idiots."

The executives grew worried. Pinstripe turned to his girlfriend and opened his palm. "Tawna, my gun please!" Pinstripe said.

"Gun?" an executive asked.

Tawna then handed Pinstripe his fully loaded Tommy gun. "Careful baby," Pinstripe said. "Don't want it firing in your pretty face."

"Oh…hehe…" laughed Tawna, quietly.

Pinstripe then got up and cocked his gun. "Men, this is how it's going to work," said Pinstripe. "I'm going to give you men half-a-second head start and whoever doesn't die from my bullets keeps his job."

"What?!?" asked a executive.

Pinstripe lifted his gun and pointed it to the executives. "Okay…time starts……NOW!" Pinstripe shouted.

The executives quickly ducked and scrambled out of the staff room as Pinstripe unleashed a barrage of bullets towards his men.

"Let's get of here!"

"Ah! My arm!

"Forget it! I'm out of here!"

Soon enough, Pinstripe and Tawna were the only ones left in the room. Bullets were scattered all over the floor, the smell of smoke filled the air, and bullet holes decorated the walls. "Ah…Pinstripe, I just redecorated this room," complained Tawna.

Pinstripe threw his gun down, sat back in his chair, and placed his head on the table. Tawna walked up quietly to Pinstripe and gave his shoulders a massage. "Tawna, that usually solves my problems," muttered Pinstripe. "But not this time. If I don't do something, my company that I worked so hard to build up will crumble to ruins!"

"They're giving out bailouts to all those failing car companies. Why not just ask for a bailout?" Tawna asked.

"Nah, last time I asked Congress for a favor, it…didn't turn out…as I hoped…" admitted Pinstripe.

Suddenly, Pinstripe took a glance at the newspaper that lay on the floor. One of the executives must have left it when he bolted out of the room. Pinstripe was shocked at who was on the front page. It was Doctor Neo Cortex. The headline read, "**Senator Cortex announces run for Presidency"**. "Cortex is trying to be President, huh?" Pinstripe asked.

"Hmmm…oh yeah, he just arrived in Washington last night and everyone's going crazy for him," explained Tawna.

"Tawna, I think we've found an answer to our problems," Pinstripe remarked.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **This chapter might seem rushed, but I really want to get to the part where Crunch, Coco, and Crash arrive in the United States and try to stop Cortex from becoming the President.

On the plus side, Pinstripe and Tawna has finally appeared. In addition, they'll play a big role later on. I still can't decide if I should make Tawna a bag girl or a good girl.

And if you thought Bill Clint…oops…I mean, Clint Bushton and Joe McPayne were great, wait until you meet President George Shrubs and Senator Sharack Omama!

**TRIVIA:**

-I don't think anyone needs to know what those names of the politicians are supposed to represent…right?

-**SPOILER! **Nina Cortex used to attend Madame Amberly's Academy of Evil in _Crash Twinsanity _and _Crash of the Titans_. But at the beginning of _Crash: Mind over Mutant_, her uncle booted her to the Evil Public School.

**NEXT TIME:** After a wild plane ride, the Bandicoots and Aku Aku arrive in Washington D.C. and they pay President George Shrubs a visit. They soon learn that the upcoming election is between 'Senator Cortex' & 'Senator Brio' and Senator Sharack Omama & 'Senator John Bidding'.

Obviously, the bandicoots are going to do everything they can to make sure Cortex doesn't win Presidency. The race is on to see who can earn the popular vote.

And will Coco ever learn about her past? Maybe Brio and Tawna can shed some light…but not for another few chapters.


	5. How Cortex Beat McPayne

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By narutofreak14

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Crash Bandicoot. Why else do you think so many Naughty Dog fanboys hate the new games?

**NOTES:**

**-**_Whenever Crash talks, it will be italicized. However, no matter how clear the sentence is, all he says is his usual gibberish._

_-_The following pokes fun at some politicians. Some names have been changed to protect them.

-At the beginning, there is a parody of the _Star Wars_ franchise. Some names have been changed to avoid lawsuits.

_**R.I.P.**_

Edward McMahon

(March 6, 1923-June 23, 2009)

Farrah Fawcett

(February 2, 1947-June 25, 2009)

Michael Jackson

(August 29, 1958-June 25, 2009)

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Somewhere…in a galaxy far, far away…there was a space station shaped like a moon orbiting the Earth. A dark, shadowy figure, who had abandoned his plan in becoming the Vice President of the United States, looked out towards the Earth. Alongside him was an emperor whose face was disfigured by a missile. They had decided to take a scene from George Lucas's movies: building a space station with a super weapon capable of destroying a planet.

The two looked out towards the Earth onboard the Death Star. One of them was wearing a black armored suit with a black helmet shielding his entire head. Whenever he spoke or breathe, it sounded robotic.

The other wore a black cloak over his entire body to cover his half-metal face. "_Soon Emperor Gin, the world shall be destroyed. And the only world that shall survive will be ours,_" Dark Valer said, in a robotic voice.

"How come you're the one in charge?" asked Emperor Gin.

"_Because,_" replied Valer,_ "it was my idea to build the Valer Star._"

"But it was my plans," groaned Gin.

Suddenly, Valer felt something. "_What is this?_" Valer asked. "_This presence…I haven't felt this presence since…_"

Valer turned around and headed out the door. "_I shall return momentarily,_" Valer said.

"Be careful Master Valer," said N. Gin.

In the center of the Valer Star was the generator room, which consisted of a long floating walkway over a bottomless pit. A young she-bandicoot in Jedi clothing peered around the corner, looking for guards. She quietly sneaked her way onto the bottomless walkway.

But suddenly, Valer appeared in front of her. He swung a red lightsaber at her head, but she quickly ducked and blocked his attack with her own lightsaber. Valer continued swinging at her, but Coco Airwalker was able to block all of his attacks.

Valer took another swing, but Coco ducked her head, making his lightsaber torch a fuse box. Valer took a few more swings, but all he managed to hit were the walls and generator equipment.

The two continued fighting until they were out near the railings of the walkway over bottomless pit. Coco and Valer clashed lightsabers again and again. The two were getting close to the edge of the walkway.

Finally, Valer managed to knock Coco down on her back. He pointed his red lightsaber in her face. "_It is useless to resist_," boomed Valer. "_Don't let yourself be destroyed as Aku Aku did._"

Coco quickly swung her lightsaber up, knocking Valer back a bit. Valer swung his lightsaber down, but Coco dodged out of the way. Valer took another swing, but not only did he miss, Coco managed to graze his shoulder. "_Ah!_" he shouted in pain. He grabbed his shoulder.

The two continued to fight and clash. Valer swung at her, but she stepped back, making Valer slash two air pipes.

He took another swing. This time, he slashed Coco's right hand. She screamed in agony as her right hand and her lightsaber fell off the walkway and down into the bottomless pit. Coco fought the pain as she grabbed a hold of one of the air pipes. Valer stood tall above her. "_There is no escape,_" he said. "_Don't make me destroy you!_"

Coco got up on her two feet, but she staggered a bit as she tried to keep her balance on the very thin beam she was standing on. "_Coco Airwalker, you do not yet realize your importance,_" continued Valer. "_You have only begun to discover your power. Join me and I shall complete your training…and with our combined knowledge, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy._"

Coco reached the end of the walkway. Out of desperation, she grabbed onto another pipe. "I'll never join you!" shouted Coco.

"_If only you knew the power of the dark side…_" continued Valer. "_Aku Aku never told you about your creator._"

"He told me enough!" Coco shouted back. She then got down onto a _**very**_ narrow piece of metal, while holding onto the machinery. She turned back to Valer. "He told me you killed him."

"_No!_" replied Valer. Soon, he reached for the back of his head…and he took off his black helmet. He revealed his face to Coco, shocking her. "Nitrus Brio?" she asked.

"Yes! I…am your creator!" continued Brio, proudly.

Coco's eyes opened wide as she looked at Brio's pale and scarred face. "No…" she cried. "No…that's not true! That's impossible! Cortex is my creator! It said so in _The Wrath of Cortex _instruction manual!"

"Lies! All of it!" Brio shouted back. "Look deep down your heart! You know it to be true!"

"Nooo! Nooooo!" Coco shouted.

Brio extended his hand towards Coco. "Join me Coco!" he continued. "And we shall defeat Cortex and his pathetic excuses for bandicoot warriors. After his demise, we shall rule the world as creator…and creation!"

At that point, something began to bubble up inside of Coco. Her tears of sadness grew to tears of anger. "What's…what's happening?" she asked herself. "Something I can't control…"

"Coco…this is a parody of _Star Wars_, not _Jak II_!" reminded Brio. "Now join me! It's the only way!"

Coco then pushed herself off of the machinery, falling towards her death. Brio looked down at her. "You could have been the greatest Bandicoot warrior of all time! You could have!"

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Coco suddenly sat up on her bed. Her heart was pounding rapidly and she was sweating. She looked around and all she saw was a suitcase half-full. She was back in her own house. Coco let out a sigh of relief. "A dream…it was just a dream…" she sighed, happily.

"Open up!" shouted a voice.

There was loud banging at the door. Coco went downstairs to check on what it was. The door then flew off the hinges and Crunch and Crash Bandicoot stepped in. Crunch and Crash prepared their fists, ready to fight. "Alright, where's the intruder?!?" Crunch asked, hastily. "Show yourself, sucka!"

The two spotted Coco on the staircase. Aku Aku floated into her house. "Coco, what happened?" Aku Aku asked. "We heard screaming, so we thought you were in trouble."

"Oh…oh that?" Coco asked. "I just fell asleep while packing my stuff…and I had a bad dream."

"That was it?" Crunch asked.

"Umm…yeah," replied Coco, shyly.

Crunch then had a disappointed expression on his face. "Ah man! I was getting pumped up for a fight!" Crunch said.

Crash, worried for his younger sister, walked up and put his hand on Coco's shoulder. Coco just smiled at him. "Thanks, big brother, but I'm okay now," she told Crash.

"_Are you sure?_" Crash asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, really," repeated Coco.

"Well…alright then," Aku Aku said. "You just go and finish packing. Tomorrow, we leave for Washington."

"Yeah, and we're going to meet the President, so pack all of the essentials: pack a toothbrush, toothpaste, clean underwear…the works!" Crunch said.

Aku Aku, Crash, and Crunch then left Coco's living room. Crunch tried to prop the big wooden door back in its place, but it just fell back down on the floor. "Don't worry Coco," Crunch shouted from outside. "I'll fix that door in the morning!"

Coco sighed as she sat down on one of the sofas in her living room. She turned to the coffee table, which was littered with notebook paper. The clutter of papers was what Coco collected from the lab before she had to leave. Unfortunately, none of the notes were about Coco, except for one. But that was the first page she read in N. Brio's notebook.

Coco Bandicoot grabbed her head in stress. There was still so much she wanted to learn about herself. What did Brio program into her mind? Why didn't she turn into the evil bandicoot warrior he wanted? And how did she meet up with Crash Bandicoot?

Coco felt angry. She wanted to blame someone, but she couldn't find a fault in anyone. Crash did set the alarm off, but it was pretty stupid of her to think that Crash would figure out the password to the computer. She couldn't necessarily blame Nina either, because all she did was capture them.

Never the least, Coco needed to blow off some steam. Normally, she would prank her brother, but this time, it called for something different.

Coco Bandicoot got out her handy pink laptop and began hacking into the Evil Public School's Student Database. On the screen were a list of the students with their addresses and phone numbers right beside their picture. Coco began hesitating. "It isn't like me to do this…but this Nina, who is the niece of our arch-enemy," she muttered.

She slid her house phone closer to her and began dialing a few of the numbers. She held the phone up to her ear as she opened a new window on her browser and logged onto FacePage, a social networking page. As luck would have it, most of the EPS students also have a FacePage account.

"_Hello?_" asked a feminine voice,

Coco held the phone away. "I better do my best to impersonate Nina," she muttered to herself.

"_Who is this? I'm hanging up!_"

"No wait!" Coco said, sounding like Nina. "Is this Michelle el-Shabazz?"

"_Who wants to know?_"

"It's me, Nina Cortex!"

"_What do you want loser?_"

"I just wanted to invite you to my three-month-long party on my uncle's private island."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**MEANWHILE…IN AMERICA…**

The United States of America was a prosperous nation with a rich and colorful history. It was filled with diverse people and beautiful landscapes, from the air-polluted skies of Los Angeles to wheat fields of Nebraska.

But right now, America faces many problems today. The stock market continues to drop, people are losing their jobs and homes, businesses are going out of business, and the current President of the United States was doing nothing to stop the problems.

Right now, in Arizona, Republican Senator Joe McPayne and Alaskan Governor Jessica Paler

was having a rally in front of the Arizona State Capital. Thousands of people stood in front of the stage, showing their support to their Senator.

"My friends," said Joe McPayne. "We are in a time of economic crisis. I understand that most of you are suffering from this crisis. Maybe you have loved ones who have lost their homes or jobs. Perhaps you had to cut back on expenses. But let me you, friends, these harsh times will come to an end quicker than you expect. Cortex, the man who defeated me in the Senate, is delivering false promises that he could never fulfill…"

Joe paused to allow the massive crowd to scream and cheer.

Just as soon as they were done cheering and screaming, a loud musical horn went off. A large, colorful bus pulled up right beside the crowd. On the side of the bus were Cortex and Brio's face and in the background were the American flag and the White House. The crowd went silent as they were confused as to what this was. "What is that?" Governor Paler asked.

"Oh…it's that Cortex fellow who's trying to beat me for the Republican vote," explained Senator Joe.

Suddenly, two speakers popped out from the top of the bus and the bus door opened. Two Secret Service agents (A/N: It's really the Lab Assistants wearing black suits, sunglasses, and headsets) came out and began propping up a wooden stage and subwoofers. "Here he goes again," Senator Joe commented.

Once everything was said and done, "Grand Ole Flag" began playing over the speakers. Two American flags appeared out of nowhere from the bus and waved in the breeze. Red, white, and blue streamers flew into the air. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages…" a voice said over the speakers. "Please welcome, your future Republican Presidential Cabinet! N. Gin, your Secretary of Homeland Security! Nefarious Tropy, your Secretary of Defense! Dingodile and Tiny Tiger, the President's Super Secret Service! Nitrus Brio, your Vice President! And of course…Neo Cortex, your United States President!"

Then, Neo Cortex, Nitrus Brio, Dingodile, Tiny Tiger, N. Gin, and Nefarious Tropy stepped out of the bus, wearing very sharp blue suits. Dingodile has his pants custom-made to accompany his tail. Despite grabbing the largest size he could find, Tiny's suit was way too small and was on the verge of tearing to pieces.

The six just smiled and waved to the very confused crowd as they walked up to their stage. "Just keep appearances up, boys," instructed Cortex.

"Excuse me, Mister President," Brio said, sarcastically. "But the plan to take over America was my idea! I should be President!"

"Yes, you should," Cortex replied. "But you lost the rock-paper-scissors game."

"It was a tie!" argued Brio.

"So Uka Uka was the tiebreaker. And apparently, he hated you slightly more than me."

"Grrrr…" growled Brio, angrily.

Soon, the music stopped playing. Cortex stepped forward and looked as his audience, who looked back at him with such much confusion. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am Doc…um…Senator Neo Cortex! I shall be the future President of the United States!" Cortex proclaimed, proudly.

The people continued to stare at him. "Is that it?" asked a citizen. Cortex continued smiling, but he was worried. "_I thought that just saying some patriotic stuff would be a singe. Oh…this is just like what happened when I was in the senate_," he thought.

"He's dying out there," N. Tropy whispered to N. Brio.

"I shall step in," Brio whispered back.

Nitrus Brio then stepped forward and joined Cortex. "Greetings American citizens of which I've invented," he said. "At this time, we'll be taking questions about the current issues facing the country I've founded."

"Why is there a bolt through your head?" asked a citizen.

"Excuse me?" Brio asked.

"Why is Tropy's face blue?" asked another citizen.

"How come your head is so big?"

"What does the 'N' in N. Gin stand for?"

The doctors were becoming overwhelmed with all of the comments and questions. N. Gin began to cover his ears. "There is too many questions!" groaned N. Gin. "MY BRAIN CAN'T HANDLE…THE QUESTIONS!"

"Oh dear, it's a repeat of what happened to us in the Senate," Dingodile mentioned.

"Gggrrrrrrooowwwwlll!" Tiny growled, loudly.

"Thank it easy Tiny," Brio said.

Cortex turned to Tropy. "N. Tropy, you'll have to use that technique that N. Trance once showed you," he commanded.

"I shall do it with ease…doctor," boasted Tropy. "But this time, make sure that Tiny covers his ears."

N. Tropy gave his knuckles a quick crack before grabbing his giant tuning fork. He stepped forward to get a view of the audience. The audience silenced again as they awed over his shiny metal fork. N. Tropy gave a quick cough before raising his fork in the air. The other doctors, Tiny, and Dingodile quickly put on earmuffs. He slammed the fork down on the ground, which created a _**very**_ high-pitched whining noise that engulfed a fifty-foot radius. Everyone who wasn't wearing earmuffs, including Joe McPayne and Jessica Paler, suddenly grabbed their heads and screamed in pain. The noise shook their eardrums and brains.

"Their brains have been scrambled," N. Tropy said to Cortex.

"Alright, this is good," Cortex said, happily. "Now N. Gin, prepare the Brain Ray!"

"Yes, my master!" N. Gin replied.

"The Brain Ray? I can come up with better names than that!" boasted Brio.

"Don't start, Brio!" Cortex replied, angrily.

N. Gin went back into the bus. Suddenly, an antenna appeared on the roof of the bus. N. Gin pressed a few buttons and a transmission wave radiated from the antenna. "_Cortex is your favorite president…_" echoed a voice.

That message continued to echo throughout the crowds and entered their brains. This went on for a few minutes until the wave died down. Cortex and the others removed their earmuffs and waited for the result of their experiment. The antenna retreated back into the bus.

The crowd looked around, still dazed and confused. Senator Joe McPayne looked back at Cortex. "I don't know why…but I want to support Cortex in the upcoming election!" he said, happily.

The crowd began to agree, even though they have no idea why they should vote for Cortex. "Yeah!" shouted a citizen. "Go Cortex! Save America!"

"Cortex!" shouted another citizen.

Soon enough, a loud "_**Cortex! Cortex!**_" chant broke out. Cortex was very pleased. "Well, this election will be a breeze to win," he muttered to Brio.

He stepped forward on stage. "You shall elect me to cure the country from its economic downturn!" Cortex shouted. The crowd screamed and cheered. "My political colleagues and I will bring America back onto its feet!"

The fans continued screaming and cheering throughout Cortex's speech. Brio began telling his speech and then Tropy and N. Gin.

After thirty minutes of rallying, the doctors (or 'senators' as they're now known in America) began to head back into their bus. Before boarding, Cortex quickly faced the crowd and gave one last statement. "I believe that this is the greatest country in the world and my team shall keep it that! God Bless the U.S.A.!" shouted Cortex.

The crowd went wild as the chorus of "God Bless the U.S.A." began playing. Cortex put two peace signs up before getting onto the bus. The crowd continued chanting Cortex's name (much to Brio's dismay) as it began pulling away towards the next city.

"Oohhh…I just love brainwashing," Cortex said.

"As this rate, we shall conquer America before the election is even over!" N. Gin shouted, happily.

"Yes…" Uka Uka said, floating above Cortex's head. "This plan's off to a promising start, but then again, most of Cortex's plans often fail towards the end."

"But then again, this is not Cortex's plan…IT'S MINE!" Brio shouted. "I should be President and not that liar Cortex!"

"You should, but you made a big mistake when I was making my decision. You claimed that you invented me and that's why I made Cortex the president instead of you," explained Uka Uka.

"That's not fair!" argued Brio.

Suddenly, Uka Uka flew into his face with an angry glare and his mask on fire. Brio quickly backed up against the couch. "Do you have a problem with the way I decide things?!?" he asked, angrily. Brio was frightened by Uka Uka's appearance. "N-N-No…I don't," stuttered Brio.

"Good…" Uka Uka said. He then got out of Brio's face.

"You know N. Brio, I like this bus," N. Tropy commented.

"Yes, I figured that since we'll be taking our campaign on the road, I figured we traveled in style! And seeing as how I invented '_Pimp My Ride_', I rented this bus, put my automobile skills to use, and created our own BUS OF DOOM!" explained Brio.

"Stop stealing my words!" N. Gin shouted.

"This bus comes equipped with the Brain Ray conveniently hidden in the back, the latest in a line of high-definition television, a built-in computer, and…here's the best part!"

He got up and walked towards the bus's refrigerator. He opened it up and inside was a whole case of Mutagen, now sealed inside metal cans. "It has a refrigerator, filled to the brim with my patented Mutagen Energy Drinks!" Brio shouted, happily.

"You made Mutagen an energy drink?" N. Tropy asked.

"It's portable and its bitter taste will give you a quick energy boost with no crashes," explained Brio. He grabbed a can, cracked it open, and took a big gulp. "Oh…sweet Mutagen," Brio said, rubbing the can against his face. "So good, and the metal taste makes it even better!"

"That can't be healthy for you," Cortex mentioned.

"It's healthier than the other ginseng energy drinks that they serve in this country!" Brio protested, taking another sip of Mutagen.

"Anyway…" Uka Uka said, changing the subject. "Cortex, how are you going to deal with your enemy?"

"Crash?" Cortex asked. "Oh, even he can't stop us now!"

"I'm not talking about Crash, you moron!" Uka Uka shouted, angrily.

"Well, I have many enemies! You need to be a little more specific."

"I'm talking about Sharack Omama!"

Cortex looked at him with a blank expression. "Uggh…he's the Democratic guy who running against you," explained Uka Uka.

"Oh him!" exclaimed Cortex. "Oh, don't worry about him. I have an old acquaintance taking care of him. He's a good person whose business is going down the drain. I promise to keep his company afloat if he did a few favors for me."

Cortex then began laughing manically as the bus passed the California state line.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **Yeah, I know what the last chapter preview said, but I sort of got side-tracked and came up with this, which I'm still proud of. Therefore, the plane flight and the meeting the president will be in the next chapter.

**TRIVIA:**

-What Coco said to Brio is true. It did say in the WoC manual that Cortex created Cortex.

-Again, the changed politicians' names are obvious to anyone living with America.

-Coco's whole dream was a parody of _Star Wars_.

-_Pimp My Ride _was a show on MTV where a rapper named Xzibit goes to random people with junker cars and volunteers to 'pimp' their rides.

Will the Bandicoots be able to stop Cortex from his cheating ways and (possibly) save Sharack Omama from Cortex's 'old acquaintance'?

You'll have to read the next chapter to find out!

**Crunch's Safety Tip of the Day:** Wait an hour after you eat before going into the pool, sucka!


	6. A Sight of America

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By narutofreak14

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Crash Bandicoot. They are in the hands of Sierra & Radical Entertainment.

**NOTES:**

**-**So…it's been a while…a month to be exact. But in all fairness, it wasn't my fault. My parents have dragged me out onto so many vacations to Ensenada, Mexico and Laughlin, Nevada that I haven't had any internet connection or time to work on the fanfictions. But, I'm back now!

-Oh and I saw _Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen_. It totally rocked!

**-**_Whenever Crash talks, it will be italicized. However, no matter how clear the sentence is, all he says is his usual gibberish._

_-_The following pokes fun at some politicians. Some names have been changed to protect them.

-I've never been in an airport before, so some details about an airport are a little bit sketchy.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**ON A FREEWAY IN AMERICA…**

"The Cortex/Brio Campaign Bus" was on its way to Pennsylvania for another rally, a.k.a. a brainwashing session. A Lab Assistant, now Secret Service Agent, was driving the bus. N. Brio was drinking his Mutagen energy drinks, Cortex was on the phone with Nina and Uka Uka was watching as N. Gin and N. Tropy were playing _Guitar Villain_ on the game console in this bus.

Suddenly, Uka Uka sensed something. Then, he laughed. "Hahaha…" he laughed. Tropy and N. Gin looked at him, strangely. "Umm…you find something funny, great Uka Uka?" asked Tropy.

"It's me, isn't it?!?" N. Gin asked. "It's not my fault my fingers can't play…a plastic guitar!"

"I don't know why, but I sense that my older brother is suffering," he muttered to himself.

Cortex was in the back, calling his niece back at Cortex Castle. "So Nina how is everything back home?" he asked. "Uh-huh…did you feed the experiment piranhas? Watered the plants? How about polishing the machinery?"

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**ON CORTEX ISLAND…**

"Yes, Uncle Cortex," Nina said into the phone. "Everything is running smoothly here. Of course I'm eating my essential vitamins. The Lab Assistants are getting their daily oil check. And…I'm…yeah…personal hygiene is important. Uncle, I'm know what I'm doing. Everything is under control. Uh-huh…yeah, I love you too, Uncle Cortex! And good luck winning the election!" Nina then hung up the phone. "God, he never shuts up," she muttered under her breath.

Nina Cortex, still wearing her black lab coat, continued working on her Un-Evolvo Ray. She had to figure out how to stop the machine from causing blackouts in the castle. "Let's see…what would be a good power source for the machine?" Nina asked herself. "Power crystals? Too overused. Elemental masks? Too hard to find. Gems? Too many splinters."

Suddenly, everything began shaking around as the bass from loud music vibrated the room. Nina looked around the laboratory, confused as to where the music was coming from. "What in the world?" she asked, angrily.

She opened the door of the laboratory door and walked down the long staircase. As she got closer to the foyer, the music got louder and more bass-filled.

She rounded the corner…and saw a huge techno party in the foyer. There was a bunch of teenagers dancing and partying. Somehow, a giant stage with strobe lights was erected in the foyer. A professional DJ played techno music as the colorful lights illuminated the room. "WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!?" Nina asked, angrily.

She went down into the foyer and braved the massive crowds. She made her way over to the castle's kitchen. There, a bunch of kids had raided the refrigerator and devoured all of the food. All of the sodas were depleted as well. "Who are these people?!?" asked Nina.

"Hey Nina!" shouted a voice.

Out from the crowd and into the kitchen, a young teenage boy with long black hair entered the room. Nina recognized him. "Mark Sanchez…from school?" she asked.

"Oh man, Nina!" Mark said. "Coco was right! This party is awesome!"

"Who send you here?!?" Nina asked, angrily.

"I don't know. Some girl on FacePage called **cocobandigirl75** told us there's a party here at your place! This party is awesome!" explained Mark.

Mark left the room and entered the foyer, leaving Nina speechless. "Grrr…I hate you, Coco Bandicoot!" she growled under her breath.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"_Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking! We have arrived in Washington D.C. America's capital. Please take your belongings from the overhead compartment and watch your step as you leave the plane,_" the pilot said. "_Thank you for flying Trans Australian Airlines. The local time in Washington D.C. is 7:13 a.m._"

After a long overnight flight from Sydney, Australia, the Bandicoots have arrived in Washington D.C. Crash, Coco, and Crunch Bandicoot stepped off the plane and headed for the baggage claim.

All three of them were wearing their 'vacation' clothes. Crunch had on a baseball cap, a white T-shirt on the brink of ripping apart, and his usual brown pants. Coco was wearing a pink shirt with many white flower on it and blue jeans. Crash was wearing a tacky blue Hawaiian shirt with his jeans. He also had a camera strapped around his neck to make him look like an average tourist.

As they were waiting for their bags to appear, Crash let out a huge yawn. "Didn't get enough sleep, Crash?" Coco asked.

"_Ah…mum…da-do…oh..._" Crash mumbled, still half-asleep.

"Come on Crash," Crunch said, patting his back. "It's not like you to not get a good sleep. You sleep four hours a day on the beach!"

Soon enough, a yellow pet carrier appeared onto the conveyor belt. Coco reached for it and unlocked the cage in front. Aku Aku quickly flew out of the carrier. He took several deep breaths. "Oh man…that was the worst thirty-one hours of my life!" he complained.

Crash and Crunch looked at Coco with strange expressions on their face. "Well…apparently, ancient floating masks weren't allowed on the plane," explained Coco. "So I had to tell them that Aku Aku was my pet."

"That is ridiculous!" ranted Aku Aku. "So floating masks aren't allowed, but human-like animals are okay?"

"These airline rules are screwy, aren't they?" asked a voice.

Coco, Crash, and Crunch turned their attention back to the conveyor belt, where inside another pet carrier was an orange squirrel-looking character inside. Apparently, Aku Aku and the orange creature know each other. "Oh man, he's the reason why the airplane ride was bad," complained Aku Aku. "He just talked non-stop!"

"You wouldn't shut up either!" the orange creature rebutted. "Something about ancient gods or some crap like that! You remind me of Samos!"

"I don't know who that is, but I can probably relate to him!" Aku Aku shouted back.

Suddenly, a man with long blonde hair and large ears appeared beside them. The Bandicoots were a little surprised by his appearance. He had long, pointy ears and was wearing red goggles and a blue tunic. "Sorry about him," the man said. "He can get pretty annoying at times."

"You haven't even met that weird floating mask!" the orange creature said. "He won't shut up either!"

"I'm not going to argue about this," the guy said, as he unlocked the cage, letting the orange creature out. The orange creature crawled up to its 'owners' shoulders. "Man, some vacation this is turning out to be," the orange creature complained as the duo left the airport.

"Who is that?" asked Crunch.

"He's probably a sad _Lord of the Rings_ fanboy," Coco replied.

"Hmmm…pathetic," Crunch said.

"_Uh-huh_," agreed Crash.

After gathering their bags, the Bandicoots made their way to the airport entrance. Coco, Crash, and Crunch were excited to go outside and see America. Although, they noticed something about the people around them. The people gave them weird glares. Coco was the first to notice this. She felt very uncomfortable. "Um…Crunch? Why are people staring at us?" asked Coco.

"I don't know," Crunch replied. He saw a man give him an angry look. Crunch raised his robotic arm, threatening the patron. "What'cha looking at, sucka?!? Ain't you seen a Bandicoot before?" Crunch asked, angrily. "We no different from you and your kid!"

"Well, we sort of stand out from everyone else," mentioned Coco.

"_Uh-uh!_" disagreed Crash. "_We're just as normal as anyone else_."

"I don't know Crash," Aku Aku replied. "You three seem to be the only ones with orange fur and big noses."

"Our noses aren't that big!" Coco argued.

Outside the door, there was a bustle of people, buses, and taxis out front, making the area seem kinetic. "Wow…" the three said in amazement.

"So this is America, huh?" Crunch asked. "Lot more people than I imagined."

"This is only a taste of America!" Coco said, excitedly. "We haven't even seen Washington yet."

"Well then, let's hurry and get there!" Crunch said.

Crunch raised his metal hand up in the air. "Taxi!" he shouted.

A yellow mini van pulled up in front of the bandicoots. Crash and Coco grabbed the bags and jumped into the backseats. Crunch sat up front with the taxi driver. The taxi driver glared at the three as they boarded the van. Crunch stared right back at him. "What's wrong with your eyes?" asked Crunch.

"Nothing, nothing," the driver said, eyes back on the road. "It's just…you guys are…you're not from around here, are you?"

"We're from Wumpa Island," Aku Aku replied.

The taxi driver jumped in his seat when he saw Aku Aku floating into the taxi. "What in the world?!?" he asked. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" asked Aku Aku.

"The moving without a body thing?" the driver asked.

"It's a long story," Aku Aku said. "You see, I was once a great witch doctor who lived on Wumpa Island. Once I died, my spirit was put into a totem mask. I now live on Wumpa Island, protecting Crash, Coco, and Crunch from the evils of Doctor Neo Cortex and my brother Uka Uka."

The driver looked at him strangely. Aku Aku let out a sigh of depression. "Let's just say…it's magic," Coco replied.

"Yeah, now stop asking questions and take us to the White House…fool!" Crunch shouted.

"Oh…umm…yes sir!" the taxi driver said.

The taxi then pulled out from the busy airport entrance.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Twenty minutes later, the bandicoots were treated to a quick sightseeing tour of Washington D.C. Crunch and Coco were amazed at the sights as Crash took as many pictures as he could (A/N: Although most of them were either blurry or blocked by his thumb).

"Whoa, check it out! It's the Washington Monument!" Coco shouted, excitedly.

"And there's Lincoln with his hat!" Crunch shouted.

"So…what brings you three to Washington?" asked the taxi driver.

"_We're here to stop Cortex!_" mumbled Crash.

"Huh? What do you have against Cortex?" asked the driver.

"Cortex is an evil scientist bend on taking over the world," explained Coco.

Suddenly, the van came to a screeching stop in front of the Lincoln Memorial. Crash, Coco, and Crunch flew forwards, hitting their heads on whatever was in front of them. "What was that for?!?" asked Aku Aku, angrily.

The taxi driver turned around and glared at them. Coco and Crash jumped in their seats, frightened by the driver's piercing eyes. "_What's wrong with you_?" asked Crash.

"How dare! I know you Democrats hate Cortex, but to say such blasphemous things about our future president!" the taxi driver shouted, angrily. "Senator Cortex is a great man who has many plans for this country!"

"Trust us, Cortex is no senator," Coco said.

"Enough! I can't stand you Democrats! I'm glad Sharack Omama had gone missing! Teach you people to mess with Cortex! Now get out of my taxi!" the taxi driver shouted.

The Bandicoots and Aku Aku got off the taxi. The four grabbed their bags and began walking towards the Lincoln Memorial. The van quickly drove away. "Uh…did do any of you three realize that we didn't pay the cab fare?" Aku Aku asked.

Crash thought nothing about it. He just turned around and took pictures of whatever he could find. He turned to the Lincoln Memorial and was about to take a photo when he saw a poster of Cortex on each of the stone pillars. "_Huh?_" Crash asked himself. "_What is that?_"

He walked up the steps, getting closer to the memorial. Crunch, Coco, and Aku Aku began to follow him. Crash walked up to a pillar and ripped the poster from it. "What is this?" asked Coco, reading over Crash's shoulder.

On the poster was a picture of Cortex, in his suit, looking up at an American flag with the White House in the background. In bold words: **Washington supports Cortex!**

"Washington supports Cortex?" asked Coco. "How did Cortex get the support of everybody in Washington?"

"Yeah, Americans can't be that dumb…are they?" Crunch asked.

"Clearly, my brother must have brainwashed people to believe that Cortex is some kind of savior for America and its economic problems," explained Aku Aku.

"Hey, now that you mention it, didn't the taxi driver say that Sharack Omama had gone missing?" Coco asked.

"I don't believe it," Crunch said. "But then again, Cortex does play dirty…and I can imagine him doing something like kidnapping Sharack Omama."

"What has Cortex done in this country?" asked Aku Aku.

"There is only one man who's got the answers to our questions…the President!" Crunch said, proudly. "Quick, everybody! We're going to the White House!"

"_To the White House!_" shouted Crash, pointing to the White House.

"What?!? Wait a minute…you mean that we're actually going to meet the President?!?" Coco asked, excitedly. "Oh man! I finally get to meet an International leader!"

"Now, hold on one second!" Aku Aku said. "We can't meet the president!"

Coco looked down at her arms, then towards Crash and Coco. "You're right, Aku Aku!" replied Coco.

"Thank you Coco," Aku Aku said.

"We're not properly dressed to meet him. We're going to need some business suits!" Coco replied.

"What?!? No!" shouted Aku Aku. "I mean we can't meet the President because he's a busy man who travels around the world solving the world's problems. You can't just waltz in there and expect to shake his hand."

"Sure we can," Coco said.

Coco Bandicoot looked at the White House. There was a huge American flag waving on the roof. "See that American flag? When it's waving, it means that the President is at the White House," explained Coco.

"_Alright!_" Crash shouted, happily.

"I still don't think anyone can see the President," explained Aku Aku. "These FBI agents are very protective with the President. They won't let anyone just meet the President."

"But why wouldn't they let us see the President?" asked Crunch.

"_Yeah! We're worldwide heroes_," Crash added.

"That's right!" Coco replied. "Now let's go and change into some business attire!"

"Yeah!" shouted Crunch.

"_Woo-hoo!_" shouted Crash.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**MEANWHILE…**

At the Potoroo Sanitation Company in Chicago, everything was running as usual. Pinstripe was looking over the operations of his workers. "Alright, I like this! Everybody seems to be working hard! I like that! Keep it up. I would hate to see you people in the unemployment line like the other poor saps in America," laughed Pinstripe. He then headed inside his office.

Inside his office, Tawna was sitting in one of his leather chairs. "Oh Tawna baby, I'm in such a good mood today!" boasted Pinstripe, happily. "The company's stock is going up. I knew that helping Cortex win the Presidency would be a great idea."

"I never imagined you to be such a devoted Republican," Tawna mentioned.

"I have been ever since Hal Sore tried to be President, with his stupid 'the ice is melting' junk. I've seen his documentary 'An Ill-Timed Fact'…what a joke. If I could blame somebody for my company going down, it would be him. Eco-friendly jerk," muttered Pinstripe.

"So, you're going to help Cortex win the election?" Tawna asked. "How? You didn't do anything illegal, did you? You promised me that you wouldn't."

Pinstripe sat down behind his desk. "Pinstripe, you didn't do anything, right?!?" Tawna asked, again.

"Well…_**I **_didn't do anything," Pinstripe replied.

"Then, your friends did something, didn't they?" Tawna asked.

"I don't _**think**_ they did anything," Pinstripe said, with a smirk.

Tawna wished she could believe Pinstripe, but she's been trying to reform Pinstripe for years, with little results. She doubts that he's innocent.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **I hope that was worth the long wait. Anyway, I included the last part to show you guys that Tawna isn't exactly evil. Since Pinstripe stopped working for Cortex a few years back, Tawna thought that she could reform Pinstripe. Sadly, she hasn't gotten anyway. And she doesn't know that Pinstripe is still with his mafia.

**TRIVIA:**

-If you guessed that the two guys that the Bandicoots talked to at the airport is Jak & Daxter, you are correct. Recently, I finished playing the first two _Jak and Daxter_ games (and I'm planning to buy _Jak 3_ tomorrow) and I think they're awesome games! I wanted to include them in the story, but I didn't want to make it into a cheap crossover, so I thought a cameo from the two would be better.

-_Guitar Villain_ is obviously based on _Guitar Hero._ The difference? I don't think there is…except for probably every song being on Expert mode.

-_FacePage_ is a social networking site whose name is a combination of _MySpace_ and _FaceBook_.

**PLUG: **Speaking of MySpace and FaceBook, if anybody wants to contact me, know what I'm doing or when the next chapter will come up, here are all of my social networking pages:

**MYSPACE: **myspace (dot) com (slash) twilightzone187

**FACEBOOK: **facebook (dot) com (slash) john (dot) Quinteros

**TWITTER: **twitter (dot) com (slash) coasterfreak14

Please note that I'm usually on the latter two than on MySpace.

**NEXT TIME:** After clothes shopping, the Bandicoots finally make it to the White House…only for them to be turned away by the FBI agents. Thankfully, they run into President Bus…Shrubs, who has played all of Crash Bandicoot's games. He tells the Bandicoots everything they need to know. But for some reason, he doesn't seem to be affected by Cortex's Brain Ray.


	7. Meeting President George Shrubs

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By narutofreak14

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Crash Bandicoot. They are in the hands of Sierra & Radical Entertainment.

**NOTES:**

**-**_Whenever Crash talks, it will be italicized. However, no matter how clear the sentence is, all he says is his usual gibberish._

_-_The following pokes fun at some politicians. Some names have been changed to protect them.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

In a dark room underneath the streets, an unconscious Sharack Omama was tied to a chair with duct tape. He regained consciousness and looked around him. He jumped in his suits and he saw some very intimidating rat-like creatures, who all wore pinstriped suits and had guns in their hands.

"What in the world?" Sharack asked himself. "Where am I? Who are you people? And…why do you look like rats?"

"We're not rats. We're potorooes," one of them answered. "I'm Pacino. And that's DeNiro, Vagoda, and Pesci."

"And you're here because Pinstripe told us to tie you up and keep you busy," said DeNiro.

"Pinstripe? The Pinstripe from Potoroo Sanitation in Chicago?" Omama asked. "What does Pinstripe had against me?"

"To be honest, it's nothing against you," the biggest of the five potoroo said. "He's just doing this so that Cortex can eliminate his competition and his company won't fail."

"Pesci, you numbskull! You weren't supposed to tell him that!" the skinniest of the potoroo scolded.

"So, it's that Senator Cortex who's doing all of this," said Sharack Omama. "I never thought Republicans would play that dirty. Now untie me this instant!"

"Sorry, but we can't do that until November 12th," explained Vagoda.

"But by then, the election will be over! I need to campaign and get some support from the American people!"

"Oh don't worry," DeNiro said. "I'm sure your Vice President will do a good job in your place."

"Oh no I'm screwed," Sharack Omama said, sadly.

"Not yet you are," Pacino replied.

Suddenly, DeNiro and Vagoda brought in a T.V. on a stool and plugged it into the outlet on the wall. Then, they sat a Playstation 2 onto the ground and plugged it in. "Mr. Senator, do you like video games?" asked DeNiro.

"Well, I've played a little _Super Mario Bros._ in my free time," Sharack Omama replied, as the two potoroo put the controller in his hands.

"That's just cute," Vagoda said. "We're going to play Poker upstairs while you play a _Spyro the Dragon_ game."

"_Spyro the Dragon_, huh? I heard that was a good video games series," added Sharack.

"Yeah…it _**was**_," Pesci replied as he shut the door and locked it. Sharack Omama was all alone with nothing but a television and a Playstation 2.

Soon the title screen appeared. "Alright, let's see here…_Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly_…this should be entertaining." That is what he thought…that is until the game started loading.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**BACK IN WASHINGTON D.C.**

Entering the White House were three anthropomorphic bandicoots, wearing professional business attire. Crunch and Crash both wore a suit and a tie to complete the look. Though, Crunch had to find a special Big 'n' Tall shop to find his size and Crash hated wearing a suit to begin with.

Soon enough, the three were at the doorstep of the White House. Coco took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her anxiety. "Uh…it's just the White House," Crunch said to her.

"I know, but we're going to enter the building where the democracy takes place. We're going to meet the President!" Coco said, excitedly.

"What makes you sure that he'll even want to see us?" Aku Aku asked.

"Well, the end of his presidency is coming soon, so I don't think there's anything he wants to do now," explained Coco. "Now, are you guys ready?"

"I am!" replied Crunch.

"What about you Crash?" Coco replied.

Coco turned to her older brother, who kept grunting and tugging on his tie. "Crash, stop that!" she scolded. She went up and fixed his tie. "Crash, I know you don't like ties…or suits, but you need to look your best when we meet President Shrubs," she explained.

"That's right, Crash! I mean, I hate wearing anything with sleeves, but I'm going to live through it."

"Yeah, now stop complaining and get over it!"

Reluctantly, Crash stopped scratching himself. The three faced the door and pushed it open.

They stepped inside the Cross Hall, which was a long hallway that connected the State Dining Room and the East Room. There were white marvel pillars and a long red rug that decorated the hall. The Bandicoots and Aku Aku were amazed. "Wow…the President sure does have it easy here," commented Aku Aku.

"Now, we need to find the Oval Office," Coco said. "But where to start looking?"

Crunch looked around and saw a man in a black suit with sunglasses. Crunch noticed the earpiece in his left ear. "That guys looks like he works here," he mentioned. "Let's see if he knows where to go." Aku Aku saw the black-suited man and instantly panicked. "Um Crunch, that may not be a good idea," he said, worriedly. Crunch paid no attention.

Crunch tapped on the man's shoulder. "Um…excuse me," he began. The man quickly turned around. "Why did you touch me?" he asked, quickly.

"Take it easy, I just want to find the President," explained Crunch.

"That information is classified sir," the black-suited man said.

"Classified? We don't want to know what secret plans you got under your sleeves! We just want to see the President!" Crunch shouted.

"How do you know of our secret plans…which I am not confirming that we do?"

"Look buddy, we just want to see the President," Crunch said, rather sternly.

"Sir, please calm down," warned the black-suited man.

"I am calm! Just tell me where he is!" Crunch replied.

"Um Crunch, I don't think this is someone to mess with," Coco said, getting in between the two.

"Yeah Crunch, he's an FBI agent," Aku Aku said.

"_He'll kill you!_" Crash mumbled.

"I don't care what kind of agent he is," replied Crunch. "He better tell me where President Shrubs is before I beat it out of him."

"Is that a threat?!?" the FBI agent asked, angrily. He pressed the button on his headset. "I need back-up in the Cross Hall."

"Crunch, maybe we should go," Aku Aku said.

"Now you listen to me," threatened Crunch.

Everyone backed away when the FBI agent pulled a taser on them. "You three orange creatures back away immediately with your hands in the air!" shouted the FBI agent.

"What's with all the shouting?" asked a voice.

Everyone turned and there, standing at the doorway, was George W. Shrubs, the current President of the United States.

Once Coco Bandicoot saw him, she was immediately star struck. "It's him," she said, happily.

"Oh…um…Mr. President," the FBI agent said, withdrawing his weapon.

"What are you doing?" Shrubs asked. "If the public finds out my agents are threatening to taser innocent animals, they'll hate me…even more than they already do!"

"Oh…um…hey, Mister President," mumbled Crunch. "We came here to see you."

"For what?" asked President Shrubs. "No one ever visits me anymore, 'cept my family."

"Well, M-M-Mister P-President, w-we w-want to ask you a few questions about 'Senator' Cortex and his campaign," Coco mumbled.

President Shrubs looked past Coco and looked at Crash, who continued to tug at his collar. Shrubs walked past Coco and inspected Crash Bandicoot carefully. "You look familiar to me," Shrubs commented. His eyes then opened wide. He grabbed Crash's hand and began dragging him to the Oval Office. "Hey, wait up!" Coco shouted as she, Crunch, and Aku Aku followed the two.

Soon enough, the four were in the Oval Office. George Shrubs shut the door behind him and looked at Crash again. "I think I know who you are, but…"

Suddenly he got down and opened one of the cabinets near his desk. He began to push aside a lot of various things. "Um…what are you looking for, sir?" Coco asked.

"Yeah, you making a mess of your office!" scolded Crunch.

"Ah! Here it is!" George said, pulling out a plastic case. He looked at the cover of the case and then back at Crash. "My god…you're Crash Bandicoot, the one on the cover of the game!"

George showed the three the cover of _Crash Bandicoot: Warped_. "Hey look! He has one of our games!" Coco said, happily.

"One of them? I have four of your games. Ah man, I had fun playing them back in Texas!" Shrubs said, happily. He then showed the four his dusty Playstation and the original Crash Bandicoot games that were developed by Naughty Dog. "I know you have more games, but I became president before I could get them," explained Shrubs.

"_Wow…_" Crash mumbled.

"Crash Bandicoot, it's quite an honor to meet you," George said, shaking Crash's hand. "Now I can finally tell my daddy that video game characters do exist! So I can meet Mario and Luigi after all!"

"Um, I somewhat doubt that, Mister President," replied Aku Aku.

George then noticed Coco Bandicoot standing beside Crash. "Whose this pretty young girl right here?" he asked.

"Oh Mister President," giggled Coco. "It's me, Coco Bandicoot."

"You're Coco Bandicoot, Crash's younger sister?!?" George asked, surprised. He looked on the back of _Crash Bandicoot: Warped_. "Um…you look a little…different…" commented George Shrubs.

"Yeah, I've grown a bit since those games," replied Coco.

"Hmm…strange," muttered Shrubs. "But nonetheless, I'm darn glad to meet you, Coco!"

George Shrubs extended his hand towards Coco. Coco grew excited. She reached out her right hand towards the President and shook his hand.

George then stood up to Crunch Bandicoot. "Whoa! Look on the shoulders on this one!" he commented. "I don't think I ever seen you before."

"This is Crunch Bandicoot," Aku Aku said.

"It's nice to see you, suc…I mean sir," Crunch said.

"It's nice to meet you!" George Shrubs said, extending his head. Crunch reached out and shook George's hand. However, the sound of bones breaking echoed in the room. The President, still smiling, winced at the pain as Crunch's massive hand shook his hand. Shrubs pulled away only to see his hand swollen red. "Whoa, hehe…quite a grip you got there," he laughed.

He shook away the pain and sat in his seat behind the desk. "So, you guys are here to stop that dastardly Doctor Cortex from taking over the world," assumed George.

"How did you know that?" Aku Aku asked.

"I played all of your games. I know the deal. Cortex is no senator…and yet it seems like he's winning. Everybody loves him now," George mentioned.

"Wait a minute…Cortex is actually getting support from the American people?" Crunch asked.

"Yes, I mean no! Well, something like that," George stuttered.

"He's cheating, isn't he?" Aku Aku asked.

"Well, would brainwashing fall under the category of cheating?" asked George.

"_Brainwashing?_" Crash asked.

"Yeah, he did that a few days ago here in Washington," George said. "He had a bus with all sorts of fancy gizmos on it. He gave this big speech in front of the crowd, but then he got the blue guy with the giant metal fork to create a buzzing noise to scramble everybody's brain. That ringing is still in my ear. Anyway, then a huge ray gun popped out from the roof and gave this weird echo thing and then all of a sudden, everyone's supports him."

"Wow…that was quite the explanation, sir," Coco said. "But wait…how come you weren't affected by the echo?"

"I don't really know," replied George. "I guess I'm too smart for Cortex's machine! Hehe! It didn't affect my daddy either. Hehehe! The brains must run in the family!"

The three bandicoots and Aku Aku laughed nervously. "But wait, shouldn't Sharack Omama stop him?" asked Crunch.

"Well that's the thing," replied George. "No one really cares, but Sharack Omama has actually disappeared!"

"WHAT?!?" they all asked.

"Yep, no one really knows where he went. And no one really cares. They're all caught up in this Cortex Mania," George explained.

"_Cortex Mania?_" Crash asked.

"You like it?" asked George. "I made up the term myself. But then, that guy with the bolt in his head said he came up with it, and now he got the credit."

"Mister President, you have no idea where Omama might be?" Aku Aku asked.

"Sorry, I haven't a clue," answered George.

The four looked very depressed. "Well, that's all we wanted to know," replied Coco, sadly. "Thanks anyway, Mister President. We'll be going now."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

That afternoon, the gang decided to stop by the Washington Monument. Crash immediately ripped off his suit and tie. "Don't mess up the suit, Crash!" scolded Crunch, as he took off his jacket. "We still got to get back our deposit on it!"

"I can't believe Cortex kidnapped Sharack Omama," Coco said to herself.

"Well, I knew he stoop that low," Aku Aku said. "Cortex and my brother Uka Uka will surely take over America if Sharack Omama is not found in time."

"Yeah, but nobody knows where he went," Crunch said. "We don't even know where to start!"

"Well, we better hurry and find him. Who knows what Cortex is doing to him?" Aku Aku asked, worriedly.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **I'll admit I sort of rushed through the last part, but at least now there's another chapter to 'Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington'! The bandicoots finally got to meet the President. I didn't know if George Shrubs was the kind of person who played video games, but does anyone really care?

**TRIVIA:**

-The game that Sharack Omama is playing is _Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly_. It was the fourth game in the _Spyro the Dragon_ series and the first time it was on the PS2. Unfortunately, it was heavily criticized for long loading times, graphical glitches, and short gameplay.

**NEXT TIME: **The bandicoots begin their search for Sharack Omama, but they have had no luck. But then, they see on T.V. that Pinstripe officially endorses Cortex. Crash, still bitter that he stole Tawna from him, runs off to Pinstripe's Sanitation Company in Chicago.

**Crunch's Safety Tip of the Day: **Don't throw pencils across the classroom! You could poke an eye out, fool!


	8. Dinner Time!

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By MisterAnimeFan

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Crash Bandicoot. They are in the hands of Sierra & Radical Entertainment.

**NOTES:**

**-**_Whenever Crash talks, it will be italicized. However, no matter how clear the sentence is, all he says is his usual gibberish._

_-_The following pokes fun at some politicians. Some names have been changed to protect them.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**Just to let everyone know, I have changed my penname from 'narutofreak14' to 'MisterAnimeFan'! I decided to make this change since I'm no longer just a fan of Naruto (that and since I haven't wrote any Naruto fanfictions in a while or seen the show in a long time).**

**I hope this doesn't make anything confusing.**

**Thank you!**

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**NEW YORK CITY**

The lights were on and so were the cameras. The audience cheered as "The Colbart Report" was live on television. Steven Colbart, the host of the show, turned to the camera and pointed his pen to it. "Thank you everyone!" he shouted, excitedly. "Welcome back to the Report! My guest tonight is running for United States Vice Presidency! He may have a bolt through his head, but he's still a lot better looking than other Republicans. Please welcome…Senator Nitrus Brio!"

The fans erupted as Steven Colbart got up from his seat and skipped his way over to the next set over while the camera followed his every movement. He bowed down before sitting down in his seat across from Nitrus Brio. The audience quieted down. "Nitrus Brio, thank you so much for joining us," Colbart said, shaking Brio's hands.

"It's great to be here, Colbart," replied Brio.

"So…you are running for Vice President alongside Senator Cortex?" asked Steven.

"That is correct," answered Brio, prompting the fans to cheer again.

"Well, where is Senator Cortex and rest of his Cabinet right now?" Steven asked.

"Always about him," muttered Brio, angrily. "Well, Senator Tropy and Senator Gin are currently overseas, entertaining our loyal troops. Senator Cortex is currently getting ready for another rally at the Potoroo Sanitation Company Chicago, Illinois."

"Oohh…right in the hometown of your opponent Sharack. Way to spit in his face!" Steven said, excitedly.

The audience laughed, as did Brio. "Yes, well quite so," he muttered underneath the laughter. "But you know Steven, I must give some respect to Omama's Vice President. I mean, he's still trying to campaign even after Sharack Omama's disappearance. Oh, what a misguided fool…"

"Indeed he is," agreed Steven. "He should learn not to fight back against the Republicans! But enough about him. Let's talk about you."

"Yes, we shall," replied Brio.

"First off, why do you have a bolt through your head?" Steven asked.

"Can we not ask about the bolt?" Brio asked, annoyed.

"I mean, it's right there! We have no choice but to notice it. Brio, be honest with me…are you the Frankenstein monster?"

The audience laughed again. "No, but it's no surprise that we share the same physical traits. After all, I invented _Frankenstein_!" Brio shouted.

"I'm sure you invented many things in your lifetime," Steven replied.

"I have Steven! I've invented many things that contributed to America's history, such as the steam engine, the light bulb, and even the wheel!"

The audience laughed at Brio's comments. "Wow…those liberals must have covered that up," commented Steven.

"Yes, those liberals have covered up many of my achievements. That's why I wrote this book that shall be on the reading lists of many high school students across the country."

"Oh…you have a book?" asked Steven.

"Yes Steve, in fact I have!"

Nitrus Brio then reached down and lifted up a big textbook-sized book. He then placed it upright on the desk. The book cover had a picture of an angry Brio pointing his finger to the reader. "The book is titled: _**I Wrote It! American History through the Eyes of Nitrus Brio!**_" announced Nitrus Brio. "And this book will enlighten its readers on what _really_ happened in American history. You see, Mister Steven Colbart, these Americans were brainwashed by the old government. But now they will know the truth!"

"Really?" asked Steven. "And what kind of truth?"

"Well, for one thing," continued Brio, as he skimmed through the pages, "I was the one who dropped the bomb on Japan on won us World War II! I was the one who created the cotton gin! And I was the one who assassinated President Kennedy!"

The audience and Steven Colbart stared at him with surprise. Brio, having realized what he said, looked over the page he was on. "Umm…hehe…apparently, one of my editors was trying to get back at me," Brio laughed nervously. He then ripped the page out of the book.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN**

In a metropolis known as Grand Rapids Michigan, three bandicoots and a floating mask walked into a steakhouse restaurant (think Outback Steakhouse). Everyone in the restaurant stared at them, but the four didn't notice. They were all tired, exhausted, and hungry. They were lead to a table and they slumped in their chairs.

After Crash, Coco, Crunch, and Aku Aku have met the President and heard about Sharack Omama's mysterious disappearance, they spend the following two weeks taking buses to Ohio, New York, and Indianapolis, trying to find Sharack Omama. They have done everything from passing out fliers to interrogating people but they have had no luck.

"Ah man, Crunch is tired," panted Crunch.

"It's so tiring," complained Coco.

"Some how, my evil brother was able to mask his spiritual energy. So now I can't track him down," mentioned Aku Aku.

"_But how could Uka Uka do that?_" asked Crash.

"It's beyond me," replied Aku Aku.

"Right now, let's rest and get something to eat and then we'll start searching Michigan," suggested Coco.

"Yeah! What Crunch needs right now is a big juicy steak!" Crunch said.

After a few minutes, they ordered their food and they received it in les than thirty minutes. "Alright! It's been such a long time since I got to eat something like this!" Coco said, happily. "Right Crunch?"

"You got that right! This food is delicious," Crunch said. "Just remember to chew before you swallow."

"Umm…right…Anyway, how's your food Crash?" asked Coco.

Crash replied with a smile and a thumbs-up.

While they were eating, Aku Aku floated down in the center of their table. "You know, I just realized something," he began. "If we find Sharack Omama, rescue him, and then help him win the election, he'll be so grateful that he'll be friends with us."

"Hey, yeah…then that means he'll do us a big favor," added Crunch.

"Well…maybe…" Aku Aku said.

"Oh wow! Coco Bandicoot friends with the future President of the United States…that would be so cool!" swooned Coco. "Imagine what we both can do!"

At this point, Coco began to imagine about what she and the President could do.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**COCO'S IMAGINATION**

_Coco Bandicoot stood on-stage in front of the White House alongside the President elect Sharack Omama. Thousands, maybe millions of people were watching the two on-stage. Sharack Omama and Coco Bandicoot faced each other. "Coco Bandicoot," began Sharack Omama. "As a token of appreciation and gratitude, for saving my life and helping me defeat the evil Doctor Cortex, and for creating this wonderful invention for recycling butter, I award you the Nobel Peace Prize._"

_The crowd cheered as Sharack Omama handed Coco Bandicoot the award and then shaking her hand. Omama then turned to the audience. "And let it be known that recycling butter will lead this nation to a better tomorrow!"_

_The audience cheered once again._

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Back in reality, Coco was still in her own dream world. "Butter?" Crunch asked. "Come on now, Coco! This is the future President whose life we just saved. If he's going to do anything for us, it'll be something I've wanted to do since…five minutes ago."

Now Crunch was in his own dream world.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**CRUNCH'S IMAGINATION**

_In the Oval Office, Sharack Omama and Crunch Bandicoot, both wearing professional suits, met each other face-to-face. They were by themselves with no one around. "Crunch Bandicoot, you have saved my life and for that I am grateful. I will grant you what ever wish you want," Sharack Omama said._

"_Sharack Omama, there is only one thing I could ever want with you," Crunch replied. "You and me are going to arm wrestle, sucka!"_

_Crunch then ripped his suit off, revealing his ripped muscles underneath. "Whoever wins becomes the President of the United States," added Crunch. Sharack Omama was confused. "Are you serious?" Sharack asked. Crunch nodded. "Alright then," Sharack said. He then ripped off __**his**__ suit, revealing his muscles. "Let's do this!"_

_Sharack and Crunch then sat down on a table and interlaced their hands, ready to arm wrestle._

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"Yeah…" Crunch said. "Crunch is going to make that happen."

Aku Aku rolled his eyes at Coco and Crunch. He then turned to Crash Bandicoot. "So Crash, what about you? Any fantasies you have?" he asked.

Crash stopped eating for a moment and thought about what would happen after he saved the President's life.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**CRASH'S IMAGINATION**

_Crash stood in front of President Sharack Omama, smiling as usual. Unlike in Coco and Crunch's imaginations, he wasn't wearing the suit that he despised. "Crash Bandicoot, for saving my life, helping me win this election, and defeating that dastardly Doctor Cortex once again, I, along with everyone else in America, am grateful to you," Sharack Omama said, proudly. He shook Crash's furry hand._

"_Now then, how about we celebrate our win with some Wumpa fruit?" asked Sharack Omama. Both he and Crash sat down in a chair and both were given a bowl of Wumpa Fruit. Crash was jumping his seat. "Oh…I almost forget," Sharack said, suddenly. From out of nowhere, he takes out a spoon and adds a spoonful of vanilla ice cream to the bowl. "Can't have a Wumpa Fruit without a spoonful of ice cream now, can we?"he asked._

"WooHoo!"_ shouted Crash, happily._

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Aku Aku shook his head. "Well, at least he's asking for something simple," he sighed. He then turned to the miniature T.V. that was hanging from the ceiling. It was turned to the news, where the media was awaiting the arrival of Senator Cortex and Pinstripe Potoroo in front of the Potoroo Sanitation Company. Something on-screen caught his eye. "Crash, look!" exclaimed Aku Aku.

Suddenly, all three snapped out of their own dream worlds and turned to the television. Senator Neo Cortex was on television, up at the podium. "Cortex!" they all shouted.

Coco turned to the bartender, who stood underneath the television. "Mister, can you turn it up?" she asked. The bartender did just that.

On television, Cortex continued his speech. Unfortunately, Crash didn't pay any attention to Cortex, but all he could focus on was Tawna, who was sitting in a chair right next to Cortex.

"_Ladies and gentlemen of America and journalists everywhere,_" Cortex said, on television. "_I am proud to stand here in front of you today in front of the Potoroo Sanitation Company to not only receive the endorsement of the planet, but also to explain the dangers of recycling!_"

"_Uh-oh,_" muttered Crash.

"You said it Crash," Aku Aku replied. "I don't like where he's going with this."

"_You see, ladies and gentlemen, the environmentalists and recycling plants have all brainwashed to believe that recycling is a good thing,"_ continued Cortex._ "And while yes, it is a good concept not to waste anything, let's think for a moment. Let's see you use recycled paper towels to wipe off your hands. You do realize that the paper towel you are using to wipe your hands is actually…trash!_"

_The crowd gasped and murmured among them. "Here to say more is my good long-time friend and CEO of Potoroo Sanitation Company, Mister Pinstripe Potoroo!_"

_Cortex then stepped aside and clapped along with the audience as Pinstripe Potoroo got up from his seat and walked up to the podium. Since it was a special occasion, today he was wearing his black pinstriped suit._

Once Pinstripe Potoroo appeared on television, Crash began growling angrily. "Crash, let's calm down for a moment," Coco muttered, worriedly. She began rubbing his arm hoping to calm him down.

"_Thank you, Doctor…I mean, Senator Cortex," began Pinstripe. "Let me just say that it is an honor to be endorsing a fine Senator and a great future President just like yourself. And let me just say that I am one-hundred percent behind you when you say recycling is dangerous. Cortex has provided a fine example of that, but I have another. Imagine, if you will, all of the water parks who claim to have reused the water that they use for all of their water slides and such. If that is to be true, you could be sliding down water that could be contaminated with all sorts of unmentionable waste. And how about reusing paper? That's trash right there folks!"_

"Are people seriously buying all of this?" Crunch asked, angrily.

"_People, there is a false rumor going about saying that 'if we put trash somewhere, soon we'll be putting it everywhere'…and that's not true at all!" continued Pinstripe. "When we at the Potoroo Sanitation Company take in the trash, trust us when we say you will never see it again!"_

_The audience on television cheered._

Crash continued to growl at Pinstripe. "Look Crash, I know you're angry at Pinstripe for supposedly stealing Tawna away, but growling about it won't really bring her back."

"Hey, I just thought of something," interrupted Crunch. "If Pinstripe is endorsing Cortex, does that mean that Pinstripe has something to do with Sharack Omama?"

Aku Aku, Crash, and Coco stared at him. "It's just a thought Crunch had," added Crunch.

"_Only one way to find out!_" Crash muttered.

Crash got up from his seat and bolted right out the door. "Crash, wait a minute!" Coco shouted.

"Don't leave!" shouted Aku Aku. Both Coco and Aku Aku followed after Crash, leaving Crunch behind himself. Crunch looked around for a moment. "Ah man! Why do I always have to pick up the tab?" he asked, angrily.

Crash Bandicoot continued to walk towards…wherever. Thankfully, Coco and Aku Au managed to catch up with him. "Crash, wait!" Coco shouted.

Coco ran up in front of Crash, stopping him. "Crash, look…I understand that you're hurt because you believe Pinstripe stole Tawna," began Coco, "but face the facts! Tawna doesn't want to be with you!"

Crash just shoved Coco aside and continued on his way. "Wow…" Aku Aku said. "I never knew Crash could get so touchy about Tawna. Are you telling me he still hasn't gotten over her?"

"Why do you think we have a picture of her in our house?" Coco asked.

Coco got up and walked over to Crash. "Now hold on," continued Coco. "Listen Crash, are you going to go to Pinstripe's company?"

Crash nodded his head. "Look, I might as well go with you, but I'm not going to get involved between you and Tawna. I'm just going with you because I have a good feeling that Pinstripe may have done something to Sharack Omama."

Crash rubbed his chin for a bit. He then decided to let Coco go with him. "But I'm telling you Crash, don't be surprised if Tawna dumps you," Coco added. Crash ignored her and the two continued on their way. Crunch Bandicoot was following close by. "Come back, you two! Don't leave Crunch behind!" he shouted.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Back at the Potoroo Sanitation Company, Tawna was sitting in Pinstripe's office. She looked outside of the administration building and saw the media clearing away the front entrance.

Suddenly, the office door opened and Pinstripe and Cortex entered the room, laughing. "Man Cortex, why did I ever stop working for you?" Pinstripe asked.

"It beats me," replied Cortex. "Oh I remember. It's that Tawna Bandicoot, she convinced you to quit!"

The two turned to Tawna Bandicoot. Cortex then noticed Tawna glaring at him. "Oh…hi Tawna," Cortex said. Tawna didn't reply. She continued to glare at Cortex. "Is she still sour about the whole Evolvo-Ray thing?" Cortex asked Pinstripe.

"Nah, she just doesn't like you," replied Pinstripe.

"Well, I guess that's good to hear," Cortex replied, sarcastically.

"So…**Doctor** Cortex, how's your plan for world domination going?" Tawna asked.

"It's been awful!" Cortex replied, angrily. "It's all because of that meddling ex-bandicoot boyfriend of yours!"

"Ex-boyfriend?" Tawna asked. "Oh, you mean Crash? It's so long since I last saw him…I almost forgot about him."

"Oh, I wish I can forget about Crash!" groaned Crash. "That idiotic bandicoot always ruins my plans for world domination. That's why I decided to run for President."

"What was that?" Tawna asked, suddenly.

"Oh um…about that…hum…well then," coughed Cortex.

Cortex turned back to Pinstripe. "So, you remember our deal?" Pinstripe asked.

"I sure do, Pinstripe," replied Cortex. "Just make sure that you keep up your end of the deal and I'll make sure that your company stays strong!"

Cortex and Pinstripe shook hands and then parted ways.

"Ah man, today was good day," Pinstripe muttered to himself, as he took his pinstriped suit off. "I got to make an inspiring speech today and I managed to make a deal with Cortex."

"What kind of deal?" Tawna asked.

"Oh…um…you know, I continue to endorse him in his election and he continues to send money my way," explained Pinstripe.

"Oh really?" Tawna asked. "I didn't know that."

As Pinstripe sat in his leather chair, Tawna sat down on his desk. "You know, not a lot of people know this, but Sharack Omama has disappeared and no one knows where he went," explained Tawna.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll turn up," Pinstripe replied.

"Really, because you know Sharack Omama is Cortex's opponent and that fact he paid you, someone who has criminal friends, to endorse him."

"Are you accusing me of something?" asked Pinstripe, raising his eyebrow.

"Oh no!" replied Tawna. "Of course not, I'm just saying that you need to be careful about the things you do. Otherwise, people are going to get ideas about what you're doing."

"Oh don't worry. Cortex is as popular as ever. The people love him…and since I'm endorsing him, they love me as well!"

"Why Cortex is so popular? If only the Americans knew what kind of guy he really is," commented Tawna.

"Look, he's a changed man. Just like I have changed," replied Pinstripe.

"Oh, I can trust you Pinstripe. It's just that I don't trust Cortex. I don't think he's winning this election fairly."

"Come on Tawna, no politician ever plays fairly. How else do you think George Shrubs, his father, and his brother were all elected?"

"Yeah, but I think Cortex is taking things a little too far. And I don't like how you are acting around Cortex."

Pinstripe got up his seat and walked over to Tawna. He raised both his hands up. "Trust me Tawna, neither me nor Cortex are doing anything evil," he proclaimed. He then kissed Tawna on the cheek before leaving his office. "I got to go. The boys and I are having a pool game today," he said. He shut the door behind him, leaving Tawna by herself in his office.

Tawna jumped down from her perch and unlocked one of Pinstripe's drawers. "Now…let's see what Pinstripe is hiding from me," she muttered to herself, as she went through several documents and folders.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **Sorry about this chapter coming in late. Ever since I started college, I've been buried underneath tons of papers and math quizzes. Unfortunately, I can see these chapters coming in later and later in the next few years.

But I will keep the story going and won't stop until it's finished!

**TRIVIA:**

-Obviously, 'Steven Colbart' is a parody of Stephen Colbert, and 'The Colbart Report' is a spoof off 'The Colbert Report'.

**NEXT TIME: **After a quick boat ride though one of the Great Lakes, Crash and friends arrive in Chicago, Illinois. They approach the Potoroo Sanitation Company, but the front desk immediately boots them out. So it looks like they're going to have to sneak in…somehow.

And witness what happens once Crash and Tawna reunite!

**Crunch's Safety Tip of the Day: **Don't play in construction zones, fool!


	9. Access Denied!

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By MisterAnimeFan

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Crash Bandicoot. They are in the hands of Sierra & Radical Entertainment.

**NOTES:**

**-**_Whenever Crash talks, it will be italicized. However, no matter how clear the sentence is, all he says is his usual gibberish._

_-_The following pokes fun at some politicians. Some names have been changed to protect them.

**

* * *

****IRAQ**

In a tan-colored tent in the deserts of Iraq, N. Tropy and N. Gin stood in front of thousands of uniformed troops, entertaining them with a stand-up routine and some improv. N. Tropy carried his tuning fork in his hands, supposedly as a tribute to Rob Hope when he entertained the troops back in the days.

"Yes, Iraq is quite the city, isn't it?" N. Tropy asked. "You know I must admit something. The media always seem to blow everything out of proportion. A place of war and terror…what a joke! N. Gin and I have seen some great examples of unity today."

"That's right," added N. Gin. "We saw some local citizens unite to rob a bank."

The troops then laughed a bit. "Look on the bright side N. Tropy, now they qualify for a tax cut!" N. Gin added. The troops continued laughing even harder.

"But seriously though, you have all poured your heart and soul into this war and sacrificed so much to protect our beloved country, and for that me and Senator Gin thank you all," said N. Tropy proudly.

"And if Senator Cortex is elected President, you can be sure that this war will end quickly enough, so that you will all be able to come home to your loved ones!" N. Gin added.

The troops got up and gave a roaring applause and N. Gin and N. Tropy bowed down and walked off the stage. The two began to walk back to their tents. "Well, that went well," Tropy said. "Maybe now the troops will support Cortex in his campaign."

Suddenly, N. Gin tripped on something and fell flat on his face in the sand. N. Gin perked his head up and shouted. "I got sand…IN MY EYES!" He began to spit out the sand in his mouth. "What did you trip on, anyway?" asked Tropy.

"Some stupid rock!" N. Gin shouted.

N. Tropy bent down and began digging into the sand. N. Tropy was shocked at what he found. "What in the world? I…I thought they disappeared off the face of the earth," he muttered.

"What are you talking about?" N. Gin asked, still trying to shake the sand out of his hair. N. Gin was amazed when N. Tropy picked up an item hidden in the sand.

It was a mask. A wooden mask that was very heavy. His mouth was opened very wide and he had horns coming out from the side of his face. It was Rok-ko, one of the Elementals that Aku-Aku sent to an eternal slumber. "It's an elemental," N. Tropy said.

N. Gin snatched Rok-ko away from Tropy and began shaking him violently. But nothing happened. "Ah man, he's useless!" he complained, throwing him to the ground.

"Now hold on, ," N. Tropy said, picking Rok-ko back up. "He may be inactive now, but maybe there's a way for the great Uka Uka to restore his powers. And then maybe if Cortex somehow loses, we have a back-up plan."

"I like the way you think," N. Gin said.

The two snickered evilly as the moon rose up in the dark night (it's night time in Iraq, while it's daytime where Cortex is).

**

* * *

**

**CHICAGO, ILLINOIS**

After a ferry ride from Grand Rapids, Michigan, Crash, Coco, and Crunch stepped off the boat and onto the streets of Chicago, Illinois. "Well, this is it, Crash. This is Chicago, Illinois," Coco said.

"Home of Sharack Omama," mentioned Aku-Aku.

"And this is where Pinstripe got his company based in," added Crunch.

Crash began to look around for Pinstripe's Sanitation Company. "Now let's take it one step at a time Crash," Aku-Aku said.

"_No time!_" replied Crash. "_I need to stop Pinstripe and rescue Tawna!_"

"Crash, we don't even know if Tawna needs rescuing!" protested Coco.

Crash wouldn't listen to reason. He continued running down the streets. "Crash, hold on!" shouted Coco, as she chased after him.

"Yeah, you don't even know where you're going!" Crunch shouted.

Eventually, they caught up to Crash and, with some help from a few locals, they managed to find the Poteroo Sanitation Company. "So, this is what Pinstripe has been up to," Aku-Aku said.

Coco and Crunch continued coughing as the air above the factory was black and smoggy. "Pinstripe is a lying fool!" Crunch shouted, angrily. "He says recycling is dangerous. I can barely breathe in here. That's why you should all recycle! Do some good for the environment!"

The three and Aku-Aku walked up to the front entrance, where a security booth stopped them. The security guard was a skinny Poteroo. "Excuse me," the guard said, stopping the three. "What are you guys doing?"

"We demand to see Mister Pinstripe!" Crunch shouted.

"You got an appointment with Pinstripe?" the guard asked.

"_Just call him! He knows us!_" shouted Crash.

"Alright then, I will call him," replied the guard.

The guard then picked up a telephone and began talking to Pinstripe.

**

* * *

**

At the Poteroo Sanitation Company, Pinstripe and his friends were in the basement of the factory surrounding a pool table, ready to play a game. He chalked up the tip of his pool cue. "Alright boys, all money down now!" Pinstripe called out.

Suddenly, a voice came over the intercom. "_Mister Pinstripe sir, we got a couple of people here at the gate who says that you know them._"

"Are you serious?" Pinstripe asked, annoyed. "Alright, show them on the television."

The guard then put up surveillance footage of Crash, Coco, and Crunch up on the television screen in the room. Pinstripe immediately recognized Crash and grew worried. "Oh no," he muttered quietly.

"Hey, that guy looks familiar," Pacino said.

"Ah, he's just some environmentalists that I know," lied Pinstripe. "You guys go ahead and start without me. I'll take care of this."

Pinstripe then stepped out of the room and walked around the corner. He picked up the phone on the wall and talked to the front gate. "Listen to me! I know those guys, but they are nothing but trouble!" Pinstripe said, furiously. "I want you to get rid of them! Release the hounds. Shoot them, I don't care! I want them gone!"

"_What do you have against these guys?_" the guard asked.

"Just do it!" Pinstripe screamed into the phone. He then hung up.

**

* * *

**

The guard hung up the phone and turned back to the bandicoots. "Ah…yeah, sorry guys. Pinstripe just ordered me not to let you in," he explained.

"What?!?" the Bandicoots asked, angrily.

Crash began to jump up and shake the gate violently while Crunch grabbed the guard and began shouting. "Listen here, fool! You better tell Pinstripe that if he don't open up this door and…"

Crunch was interrupted when he heard the sound of dogs growling. The bandicoots and Aku Aku turned around and saw four Dobermans growling at them with very sharp teeth. Crash and Coco both took a fighting stance, but Crunch stopped them. "What's wrong with you two?" he asked, sternly. "You can't beat up some dogs!"

Crunch then turned away from everyone else. "Children, don't ever abuse dogs!" he said. "They don't deserve that kind of treatment!"

Crunch was caught off-guard when a dog bit his left foot. "OW! Let go, boy!" scolded Crunch. Crash and Coco saw two dogs running up towards them. They immediately turned around and started running, along with Crunch. The guard continued laughing. "And stay out!" he shouted.

**

* * *

**Meanwhile, Pinstripe was inside, stressing out. "That stupid bandicoot is going to ruin everything!" he said to himself. "I got to warn Cortex about this."

Pinstripe took out his phone and began texting a message for Cortex.

* * *

Cortex was in the campaign bus with Uka Uka floating above his head. Dingodile and Tiny were up front driving the bus on the road towards New York City, where N. Gin and N. Tropy were also supposed to meet up. Dingodile was less-than-happy. "How you and I become Cortex's chauffeurs, eh Tiny?" he asked. Tiny shrugged, having no idea what to say.

Cortex sat back in his couch as he continued playing around with his new phone that he got from a phone store.

"Will you stop messing with that ridiculous phone!" scolded Uka Uka.

"This phone is anything but ridiculous," replied Cortex. "This phone is amazing! Better than anything I've ever invented! This thing has so many apps!"

Cortex then showed Uka Uka the various apps that the iFone had. "It gets up-to-minute weather reports, plays games, watch movies, go on the internet, and the best part: it can make buttered toast!" explained Cortex.

Suddenly, buttered toast appeared from out of nowhere, confusing Uka Uka. "I'm not even going to question the logic of that," he muttered, as Cortex ate the toast. "Hey, what does that app do?"

"Hmm?" asked Cortex. He then noticed another app at the bottom of the screen. "Huh, I don't know. But only one way to find out!"

Cortex pressed the button. From out of nowhere, a bright, burning laser beam came out from the hole at the top of the phone. It burned a hole through the roof of the bus. Cortex and Uka Uka were shocked, but then Cortex stared at his phone with a smile. "They do have an app for everything!" Cortex proclaimed proudly.

Suddenly, his phone pinged. "Oh, I got a text message from Pinstripe!" he said. He opened up the text message and read it. Then he shrieked loudly. "Let me guess, the bandicoots have made their way to America and are now at Pinstripe's company, where Sharack Omama is hiding, right?" Uka Uka asked.

Cortex nodded. "Well, I knew that you actually coming up with a good plan was a pipe dream," commented Uka Uka. "We might as well put up the white flag of defeat."

"No, wait!" Cortex shouted. "Just trust me! Crash won't be interfering in our plans this time!"

"Okay then, Crunch and Coco will ruin us!"

"No! Neither of the three will ruin this plan! I'm sure of it!"

"Cortex, given your track record, you should understand why I am very skeptical at this point."

"Listen to me Uka Uka. This is a brilliant plan that I have devised and I will NOT let that bandicoot ruin it this time!"

"I thought Brio came up with that plan."

"Just trust me when I say that Crash Bandicoot won't be along for much longer."

Uka Uka was still skeptical, but he decided to humor Cortex and let him continue with the plan. Cortex replied back to Pinstripe.

* * *

Outside of the Poteroo Sanitation Company, Coco was treating Crash's and Crunch's wounds. Crunch yelled as Coco applied some disinfectant to his dog bites. "AH! That stuff burns!" shouted Crunch.

"Suck it up, you big baby," scolded Coco.

"_How come you didn't get bit?_" asked Crash.

"I don't know. I guess I just ran faster that you," explained Coco.

"It looks like the front door is out of the question," Aku Aku said. "But imagine what would happen if we do make it into the factory. Pinstripe would go crazy and possibly shoot us."

"Shoot us?" asked Coco. "Oh that's right. Pinstripe has a gun."

"What?!? That sucka has a gun?!?" Crunch asked, worried.  
"We'll be fine," Coco said.

"_Yeah, his bullets can't go through furniture,_" Crash mentioned. "_As long as there is a couch, we'll be fine._"

After healing up, everyone turned back to the building. "Now, how are we going to get inside there?" Coco asked. "The guard won't let us in."

"_Maybe if Crunch throws one of us to the building,_" suggested Crash.

"Throws us?" asked Coco. "Crash, that's a dumb idea!"

"I don't know. It's possible," Crunch said.

Crunch looked them at the two bandicoots. "One of you guys, right?" Crunch asked. Crash smiled as he secretly pointed to Coco. But Crunch had other ideas. He grabbed Crash and lifted him up in the air. Crash panicked as Crunch stared at him. "Remember Crash, once you get inside the factory, take out the guard and let us in," Crunch said. "Good luck!"

Crunch reared back and flung Crash into the air, sending him flying through the sky. Coco and Aku Aku were both shocked at Crunch. "What? It was his idea!" he protested.

* * *

Inside the Poteroo Sanitation Company, Tawna was running down the hallways and she was not in a happy mood. She had a piece of paper in her pocket. "That lying, cheating rat!" she shouted, angrily. "How could he lie to me?!?"

Suddenly, Tawna stepped back as Crash flew through the window and crashed into the wall. "What in the world?" Tawna asked.

Once the smoke cleared, Crash Bandicoot was slightly unconscious. Tawna recognized Crash Bandicoot. "Crash?" asked Tawna.

Crash regained consciousness and saw the beautiful Tawna in front of his eyes. "_Tawna?_" asked Crash.

"Crash!"  
"_Tawna!_"

Crash got back on his feet and jumped into Tawna's arm. The two spun around in each other's arms. "Oh my god! It's been so long since I saw you!" Tawna said, happily.

"_Tawna, I finally found you!_" Crash shouted, happily. "_And Pinstripe is not around!_"

The two then let go of each other. "So Crash, what have you been up to?" Tawna asked.

"_Well, you know the usual, defeating Cortex and saving the world,_" replied Crash.

"Cortex! That reminds me," Tawna said. "Crash, did you see the press conference?"

Crash nodded his head. "Well Cortex is not winning this election fairly! I know where Pinstripe is hiding Sharack Omama! We got to hurry!"

Tawna grabbed Crash by the hand and dragged him down towards the basement of the factory.

* * *

Crunch and Coco were outside the factory gates, waiting for Crash to come and help them break into the factory. "What is taking Crash so long?" asked Coco, angrily.

**

* * *

**

TO BE CONTINUED…

**A/N: **Yes, Crash and Tawna finally reunite, and after what she found in Pinstripe's desk, she is VERY happy to see Crash again. Like I said, college has really taken up my time. It probably didn't help when I started failing a few math tests and my parents got on my case. But I'm back now.

**TRIVIA:**

-Those jokes I used for the beginning I got from a website called **politicalhumor (dot) about (dot) com (forward slash) bliraqwarjokes (dot) htm**. They were pretty funny and they come from different comedians, including Jay Leno and John Stewart.

-The iFone that Cortex has is obviously supposed to be the iPhone. As far as I know, there is no app that lets you shoot out a burning laser beam…at least not yet. I'm sure Apple is working on it.

-Rob Hope is a parody on the late Bob Hope, who would go and entertain the troops with a comedy routine. He would always carry a golf club with him, similar to how N. Tropy carries his tuning fork.

**NEXT TIME: **Crash and Tawna sneak down to the basement of Pinstripe's factory, sneaking quietly past Pinstripe himself. They find Sharack Omama, comatose after having to suffer through a long loading screen. Unfortunately, before they had a chance to revive him, Pinstripe comes in…with a fully loaded Tommy gun.

**Crunch's Safety Tip of the Day: **Don't throw people in the sky! You ain't strong enough fool!


	10. Behind the Enemy Line!

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By MisterAnimeFan

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

_A severe thunderstorm was taking place over the hills of a college located in a European countryside. As a bolt of lighting illuminated the cloudy sky, a scientist was in his laboratory, lowering a patched-up bandicoot into a tub of water. The bandicoot was a female and she had many stitches over her body. She also had several wires and metal clips on her body._

_"Now for the final piece!" the scientist said. The scientist had a big head and a bolt through his head. "All those years of them mocking me, saying that I can't revive animals from the dead. Well I'll show them!"_

_Suddenly, a lighting bolt struck a metal antenna, which the electrical current flowed through the wires and into the water, electrocuting the unclothed bandicoot._

_The scientist looked on with a crazy glare in his eyes. "Live...LIVE!!" the scientist shouted. "Live, darn it! LIVE!!!"_

_Soon, the electricity stopped cackling and everything calmed down. The scientist (who we should know now is N. Brio) ran over to the body. He stared at the unconscious bandicoot, hoping to see some signs of life. He waited for a whole minute, but nothing happened. The bandicoot body remained dead. "No...NO!" Brio shouted, angrily. "How could have I failed?!? I done all of the research and tested this theory on countless other specimens. So how could the bandicoot have not worked?!?"_

_Brio began pounding the chest in anger. But suddenly, the female bandicoot sat up and began to choke Brio. Brio gasped for air as he struggled to break free from her grip. "Stop Coco, I am your creator!" Brio shouted._

_A flash of thunder brightened up the room, allowing Brio to see Coco's disfigured face. Brio was shocked and scared to see her. "My lord, I created a monster!" he shouted._

_Coco yelled loudly as she threw Brio into a cabinet filled with burning acid. Brio yelled in agony as the acid burned at his skin. Coco broke out the lab, stealing a cloak on the way, and rampaged out throughout the nearby villages._

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Coco suddenly shot up and screamed loudly. "What in the world?!?" Crunch asked, angrily. "What's wrong with you, Coco?"

"Huh? What?" Coco asked a bit dazed. She looked around and saw that she and Crunch were still sitting out on the cold pavement in front of the Poteroo Sanitation Company. "Are we still here?"

"Don't worry about that Coco," Aku Aku said. "What happened to you? You just screamed."

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"No…it's…it's okay… it's just that…where the heck is Crash Bandicoot?!?"

"Hey, don't try to change the subject?!? Tell us, what happened with you?" Crunch asked, angrily.

"What happened to me?!? What happened to you?" Coco asked, frantically. "Let's talk about you for once!"

"There ain't nothing wrong with me!" Crunch replied.

"Well…you do say 'sucka' a lot," Aku Aku mentioned.

"No I don't, sucka!" Crunch replied.

"You just say it right now," Coco mentioned.

"No I didn't, sucka!" Crunch said.

"Crunch seriously, it's becoming a problem," Aku Aku said.

"No it ain't sucka! Sucka…sucka…sucka…sucka!"

"Uh-oh…I think we broke Crunch," Aku Aku said.

"Crunch, snap out of it!"

Coco began to slap Crunch's face repeatedly until he became quiet. "Who? What happened to Crunch? And why is his head hurting?" Crunch asked.

(**A/N: **Okay, enough silliness! Let's go on to the main story plot.)

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Crash and Tawna continued running down the hallways of Potoroo Sanitation Company. "We have to hurry Crash!" Tawna shouted. "Who knows what Pinstripe is doing to Sharack Omama!"

Crash and Tawna then began running down the employee staircase. Tawna quickly stopped Crash from going down the stairs. "Crash, you have to be quiet. Pinstripe is probably down there with his goons," whispered Tawna. "And all of his goons are just as dangerous as Pinstripe…"

"_Huh?_" Crash asked.

"As in they all have guns," added Tawna.

"_WHAA?!?_" Crash shouted, scared.

"It's going to be fine," Tawna said. "Just keep quiet and try to avoid Pinstripe and his minions."

Crash nodded his head and he and Tawna continued quietly down the staircase. Tawna began thinking to herself. "_How could Pinstripe lie to me…in my face?!?_" she asked herself, angrily. "_I try so hard to change him into a good person. Well, I know it would be difficult for someone like him to change, but still…he could at least try._"

Tawna and Crash continued quietly down the staircase. Soon enough, they reached the basement. From the bottom of the staircase it was a long hallway with the smell of cigar smoke in the air and loud music echoing throughout. "Crash, we have to be really careful here," warned Tawna. Crash nodded.

The two quietly walked down the hallway, their backs against the walls. They could hear voices coming from the room down the hallway. They rounded a corner and immediately jumped back into position. There was Pinstripe and his friends playing a game of pool. Crash got scared as he noticed the various guns leaning against the wall. Tawna looked down the hallway and saw a steel door at the end. "That's probably where they are hiding Sharack Omama," Tawna pointed out. "Now, how are we going to get through without anyone noticing?"

Crash began thinking to himself for a moment. He then took another look at the guns leaning against the wall. He began searching throughout his pocket. He then pulled out a Wumpa fruit. Then, he made sure that no one would notice him. After that, with one mighty throw, he lobbed the Wumpa fruit in the air and knocked over the guns. However, once the guns fell violently onto the floor, all of them began to go off. "Get down!" Pacino shouted.

Everyone ducked as a barrage of bullets began flying everywhere. They overturned a pool table and hid behind it as the bullets ricocheted off the walls and punctured the nearby fire extinguisher, filling the room with smoke. With all of them hiding behind the pool table, Crash and Tawna quickly scurried to the other side of the hallway, putting their arms up to shield themselves.

Soon enough, all of the guns ran out of bullets and stopped. They fell to the ground, motionless. The smoke from the punctured fire extinguisher still lingered in the air, creating a nasty haze. Pool balls were littered all over the place. The goons and Pinstripe slowly came out from their hiding spot. "Man that was something, eh?" DeNiro asked.

"Is everyone alright?" asked Vagoda.

"I think I'm okay," Pacino said, patting himself down for any wounds.

"Okay, which one of you idiots knocked over the guns?!?" Pinstripe asked, angrily.

"Duu…it wasn't me, boss," Big Boy replied.

"Of course it wasn't," Pinstripe said back. "Whenever something happens, nobody wants to take responsibility!"

"Hey, calm down, boss! Nobody got hurt," DeNiro said.

Pinstripe let out an aggravated sigh as he looked around the damaged room. He looked at the floor and he noticed something peculiar. Amongst the pool balls, there was an orange-colored fruit lying on the floor. Pinstripe bends down and picked it up and inspected it. The others joined in. "Hey, what kind of fruit is that?" asked Pacino.

"Alright, who was eating in here?!?" Vagoda asked, angrily.

Pinstripe immediately grew angry, angry enough to squeeze the fruit in his bare hands. "He's here…" he muttered.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Crash and Tawna finally reached the end of the hallway. At the end was a huge and probably heavy metal door. Tawna pulled out a map of the facility and looked at it. "Yep…this is where Sharack Omama is hiding," she remarked. "He's in that room."

Crash and Tawna both pushed the door open. They entered the dark room. "Sharack Omama?" asked Tawna.

"_Where are you?_" Crash asked.

The two continued looking around the room until they saw a chair with someone in it. The T.V. in front of this person provided the only light. Tawna and Crash approached with caution. As they suspected, it was Sharack Omama, but he was comatose. "Um…Mister Omama?" Tawna asked. "Are you okay?"

Tawna poked him, but he remained quiet. Crash tried shaking him violently, but nothing happened. They then turned to the T.V. screen. All they saw was a purple dragon continuously flying away from the player and into some strange vortex. "Why is he playing video games?" Tawna asked.

Crash bends down and picked up the box for the game. He screamed when he read the title. Tawna took it and read the title. "_Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly?_ Oh no, he's being tortured by the game's long loading times," Tawna said.

"_NOOOO!_" Crash shouted.

Crash Bandicoot jumped on top of Sharack Omama, and then frantically shook and slap Sharack Omama, hoping to wake him up. Tawna got Crash to calm down. "Um…Crash, how about we try turning the game off?" Tawna asked.

Tawna reached down and turned the T.V. off and then she proceeded to turn the lights on. Sharack Omama shut his eyes and shook his head. He blinked several times before he came to. "What? What in the world…where am I?" asked Sharack.

"You're in the basement of Pinstripe's Sanitation Company," explained Tawna.

"Who are you two?" Omama asked.

"_We are here to rescue you!_" answered Crash.

"Yeah, but we don't have much time. We have to get you out of here and fast."

Crash and Tawna quickly began ripping off the duct tape. "How is my campaign doing?" Omama asked.

"Ummm…" hesitated Tawna and Crash.

"Oh no, did my Vice President screw everything up?" Omama asked.

"Well…you're losing, but it's not your fault. Cortex is an evil genius who's brainwashed everybody to believe that he is the greatest and you're the worst," explained Tawna.

"Brainwashing?!?" Sharack Omama asked. "We have no time to waste then! Hurry and untie me!"

Soon enough, Sharack Omama was free. The three bolted from the room and began to go back the way they came. "Hurry, before Pinstripe finds out about this!" Tawna said.

The three rounded a corner…and were instantly met with Pinstripe and his goons, all with guns pointing at them. Crash shrieked as the barrel of Pinstripe's gun was pointed at his face. "Crash Bandicoot…it's been a long time, hasn't it?" Pinstripe asked. "Last time we met each other, you tried to ruin the deal I had with Doctor Cortex! You ruined me then, but I'll stop you this time!"

"Listen to me Pinstripe," Sharack Omama said. "Nothing good will come from you associating yourself with that dastardly Cortex."

"Shut it, Senator!" Pinstripe shouted.

"Pinstripe Potoroo!" Tawna shouted.

Tawna then walked out from hiding behind Sharack and Crash. Pinstripe was surprised. "Tawna, you let Crash Bandicoot down here?" he asked. "How could you do such a thing?"

"How could I WHAT?!?" Tawna asked, angrily. She ran up, pushed the barrel aside, and slapped Pinstripe clear across the face. "How could you lie to me?!? You said you and Cortex weren't doing anything evil! Well why was Sharack Omama tied up alone in a room?"

"Hey, I didn't lie to you. I was not doing anything evil," defended Pinstripe.

"He was playing _Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly!_"

"It could have been worse," Pinstripe said. "I could have forced him to play this…" Pinstripe Potoroo then held up a game cartridge that read _Superman 64_.

"Enough joking around!" Tawna shouted. Tawna then pulled out papers and shoved them into Pinstripe's face. "What's this about Cortex brainwashing people? Why would you lock up Sharack Omama? Why are you and Cortex doing this?!?"

"Alright, I'll admit it! Cortex is giving us a large sum of money to keep my company in good shape if I make sure he wins the election. So I thought I would hide Sharack Omama and lock him up while he goes out and does his campaign."

"You told me Cortex has changed!"  
"Well, look at you! You promised me that you wouldn't go through my stuff!"

"Hey, don't you try to turn this around on me!"

Tawna and Pinstripe then continued arguing, much to everyone else's dismay. "Ummm…why we are listening to this?" Pesci asked.

"I don't know," answered Sharack. "Come on Crash, let's go."

Sharack and Crash were about to walk away, but Pacino lifted his gun, threatening to shoot them both. The two had no choice but to stay in place. "I thought you would be a better person," complained Tawna.

"Well, you thought wrong," Pinstripe said. "Now get out of my way!"

Pinstripe shoved Tawna aside and then pointed his gun at Crash. But before he could shoot, someone interrupted him. "I'd put the gun down if I were you!" shouted a voice.

Everyone turned around and saw Crunch, Coco, and Aku Aku standing (and floating) there. "Hey, get back pal!" threatened Big Boy, as he pointed his gun at Crunch. Crunch simply grabbed the weapon in between his fingers and snapped it into two pieces as if it were a toothpick. "Don't point your gun at other people!" scolded Crunch. "It's rude."

"Hey, back off big guy!" Pinstripe shouted.

Pinstripe was shut up when Vagoda ran up to Crunch, but he was send flying courtesy of Crunch. Coco then took care of Pacino with a kick to the stomach and then a spin kick to his head. Both Crunch and Coco managed to knock out everybody, except for Pinstripe. "Alright, sucka! You got no more minions!" Crunch shouted.

"Now, give us Sharack Omama!" demanded Aku Aku.

"Or else I'll knock you into next week!" added Coco.

Pinstripe looked around and noticed that he was pretty much screwed. He dropped his gun onto the floor and let Sharack, Crash, and Tawna pass by him. Tawna quickly stopped next to him. "You and I are finished," Tawna muttered, angrily.

"When did we begin?" Pinstripe asked in response.

Tawna glared at him before leaving. Pinstripe then noticed Crash smiling at him. Pinstripe grew angry. "You laughing at me?!?" Pinstripe asked, angrily.

"Leave him alone!" Tawna shouted. "Come on Crash. Let's get out of here."

With that, everyone began walking up the stairs. Coco then delivered a karate chop Crash's head. "Why did you take so long, Crash?" she asked.

Pinstripe was left by himself in the dark and dusty hallway. His minions were doing their best to get up. Pinstripe then remembered something. "Shoot! I have to warn Cortex about this!" he said.

He ran to his phone to call up Cortex, but before he could finish dialing his number, his phone rang. And whose name appeared on the caller I.D.: Doctor Neo Cortex. Pinstripe began rubbing his temples. "He's not going to be happy about this," he muttered to himself.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **I had a little bit of trouble figuring out how Tawna would react to Pinstripe lying to her. I didn't know anything about Tawna's personality because she only appeared in _Crash Bandicoot 1_ and _Crash: Boom Bang_ and she didn't really have any personality then.

Also, just because Tawna got angry with Pinstripe doesn't mean she'll instantly be with Crash at the end.

**TRIVIA:**

-The beginning part of the story with Brio and Coco is a parody of Mary Shelley's _Frankenstein_, a classic piece of literature.

-_Superman 64_ is another video game that is often considered one of the worst ever made, due to its repetitive, difficult and confusing objectives, unnecessarily short time limits that left no margin for error, terrible graphics, and horrendous controls.

-I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but the names of all of Pinstripe's friends are from popular actors, such as Abe _Vagoda_, Al _Pacino,_ and Joe _Pesci_. All of them have been known to act as mafia members in movies like _Goodfellas, the Godfather, _and_ Scarface._

**NEXT TIME: **Crash is VERY happy to have Tawna back with him. Now that Sharack Omama is free, now they have a new goal: stopping Cortex from brainwashing people and release his grip on those who are already. To do this, they will follow Cortex and his campaign around and try to figure out his way of brainwashing people and stop it.

But before they do that, Tawna explains what she saw in Pinstripe to begin with and (something Coco is interested with) what happened to Coco after she was put through the Cortex Vortex.

And of course, Cortex is not happy to hear that Sharack Omama is now free. However, he still has a bit of confidence, seeing as how roughly 75 percent of America is now Cortex-controlled. Plus, Tropy and Gin bring back Rok-Ko from the Iraq desert, persuading the rest of the team to search America to find the remaining Elementals.

**Crunch's Safety Tip of the ****Day**** Month: **Seriously though, stay away from guns, children! Only bad things can happen!


	11. Pinstripe and Tawna

"Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington"

By MisterAnimeFan

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

In the famous Times Square area of Manhattan, New York, a digital political advertisement appeared on one of the Jumbo-tron screens. In the advertisement, Cortex stood in front of the Washington Monument, wearing a neatly-ironed black suit.

"_Hello, I am Senator Neo Cortex and I am running for President," _he began._ "A lot of theories have been made about Senator Sharack Omama's recent and mysterious disappearance. Many of those theories have the audacity to put the blame on me! Personally, I blame the hip-hop and rap music, but nonetheless, I have in no way influenced his disappearance. Senator Omama has disappeared simply because he is afraid of me. And if he runs from me, how well do you think he will do when a national crisis hits this great country of ours? Can you really depend on a President who runs when the going gets tough? I would never run! I would stay and fight! That's the kind of President you need to lead this country into greatness! Vote Cortex/Brio for Presidency!"_

In Time Square, many people down below on the streets began to cheer loudly for Cortex. The "Cortex! Cortex!" chants echoed throughout the air.

"I must say, this plan is going much better than I have ever anticipated," N. Tropy said as the taxi drove down the busy streets.

"How could you be surprised? Doctor Cortex IS A GENIUS!" N. Gin shouted. "Look at all the fans! LOOK AT THEM!"

"N. Gin, you really should see someone about your random screaming," advised Tropy. "It scares quite a few people."

N. Tropy and N. Gin, after entertaining the U.S. troops overseas, had returned to America. From the airport, they took a taxi to the Plaza Hotel, where the Cortex/Brio campaign have made their new headquarters for all political activity. Quite a few fans have crowded around the hotel grounds, hoping to get a glimpse of their beloved candidate.

The taxi pulled up to the front entrance of the Plaza Hotel. They stepped out and Tropy handed the taxi driver his cab fare. Suddenly, a bellboy ran up to N. Tropy and N. Gin. "Good afternoon, sirs. Shall I take your bags?" the bellboy asked.

"Yes, TAKE MY BAGS, YOU MINIONS!" N. Gin shouted, practically throwing his bags at the bellboy.

"I shall keep my luggage, thank you," N. Tropy added.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

A loud and long scream pierced the air. Tropy and Gin, as well as everyone else, looked up at the top floor of the hotel. "That sounded like Cortex," worried Tropy.

Just then, a large and heavy sofa broke through one of the glass windows and fell from a height of 250 feet. It landed onto the ground, splitting into many pieces. Luckily, no one was hurt.

Tropy and Gin raced up to the top floor and began heading towards the room where Cortex and Brio were based in. They saw Brio, Tiny, and Dingodile standing outside of the room. All three were blocking the door. "Please step aside!" ordered Tropy. We need to see Dr. Cortex immediately!"

"Oh, I'm so glad everyone is talking about Cortex and his little hissy-fit," Brio said, sarcastically. "It's okay if no one asks me about my _**television appearance on the Colbart Report!**_"

"What is wrong with Cortex?" Tropy asked.

"Cortex angry," growled Tiny.

"Angry…at what?" asked N. Gin.

"Remember when Cortex said that not even Crash Bandicoot can stop us?" Dingodile asked.

"Let me guess…Crash is here, correct?" guessed Tropy.

"Yep," Dingodile replied.

"And he has freed Sharack Omama despite heavy security from Pinstripe," continued N. Gin.

"That's right," Dingodile said. "And now Cortex is in there, going absolutely crazy."

"Well, N. Gin and I have found something in Iraq that may help us still win the election."

"Did you find the weapons of mass destruction?!?" Brio asked, frantically.

"Sadly no," Tropy answered.

"Trust me, I checked twice and I found nothing," added N. Gin.

"But we have something of equal value."

Despite the noises and yelling coming from inside, Tropy and Gin carefully opened the door and walked in cautiously. "Ummm…Doctor Cortex?" N. Gin asked.

"Doctor?" asked Tropy.

Tropy and Gin looked around the room and were amazed at the destruction of the entire room. Windows were broken, feathers and cotton were everywhere, the bathroom mirror was cracked, the mattresses were overturned and torn up, the wallpaper was torn off as well, and the lamps and television set were all thrown over and shattered to pieces. "Good heavens!" exclaimed Tropy.

"Wow…this is…" muttered Gin.

"AAAAHHHH!"

Suddenly, Cortex flies into their view, screaming like a madman. Tropy and Gin were surprised. N. Gin quickly jumped behind Tropy, using him as a human shield. They both stared Cortex into his eyes…his eyes filled with hate, insanity, and madness. "Bandi…coot…" breathed Cortex.

"No, me N. Gin," N. Gin said, coming out from hiding.

"AAAAYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieked Cortex.

Cortex jumped onto N. Gin and began scratching N. Gin's eyes out. N. Gin cried in pain. "AAHHH! GET OFF ME, YOU CRAZY PERSON!" N. Gin shouted.

"For god's sake, Cortex, have some sort of self-control!" scolded Tropy. Tropy locked Cortex in a full nelson and pulled him off Gin. "Cortex, I understand that the bandicoot is here and has freed Senator Omama, but let's calm down and…"

"I kill you! I KILL YOU!" Cortex shouted, angrily.

"Snap out of it!" Tropy shouted.

He turned Cortex around and slapped him across the face. Cortex had a blank expression on his face. He blinked his eyes once, twice, three times. He shook his head and took a few deep breaths. "Wow…oh my…my head really hurts," Cortex said, calmly. He looked around the annihilated room and the victimized N. Gin. "What happened to this room? And what happened to N. Gin?"

"YOU TRIED TO KILL ME, YOU SICK, CRAZY PERSON!!" N. Gin shouted, angrily.

"N. Gin, I don't want to have to slap you as well!" threatened Tropy. "Cortex, you just had a little bit of a mental breakdown. Now what do you say we go down to this lovely coffee shop down the street and we shall converse there."

"Yes…now that you mention it, tea sounds good right now…" murmured Cortex.

N. Tropy led Cortex out of the room. Tiny, N. Brio, and Dingodile then led Cortex towards the elevator. N. Tropy turned to N. Gin. "Come on N. Gin, tea will do you some good," offered Tropy.

"Cortex tried to kill me and you guys are giving him tea?" N. Gin asked, annoyed.

"Let's just go," Tropy said, sternly.

"Umm…is it…is it safe to come out now?" asked a voice.

N. Tropy looked and saw Uka Uka (believe it or not) hiding underneath one of the overturned couches. "Uka Uka?" Tropy asked. "Were you…hiding?"

"Um…yes."

"Strange, it seems that it's always Cortex who is afraid of you," mentioned Tropy.

"Yes, quite a twist of fate indeed," murmured Uka Uka. "But still, if you saw what Cortex did to the tiles of the shower walls, you would be scared as well. Now…let's have some tea."

Uka Uka then floated out of the room. N. Tropy was the last to leave. As he walked out, he saw the maid passing by. She took one glimpse into the room and her mouth dropped. "What in the world?" she asked.

"Ah yes…the room…" N. Tropy said.

N. Tropy reached into his pockets and handed the maid a few hundred-dollar bills. "Here, this ought to cover the damages to the room. If not I shall obtain more bills," Tropy said. He then joined the rest of the group at the hotel elevators.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Sharack Omama, the Bandicoots, and Aku Aku were watching the television screen on the wall of the Democratic Party Headquarters (a hotel in the senator's hometown of Chicago). On the television was a pasty white man in a suit. He had a short military haircut and was ranting on about Sharack Omama's disappearance (seeing as how the news of his return hasn't been fully announced as of yet).

"_It is now day three of Sharack Omama's disappearance_," the man said. "_For some reason, the American people don't care, and you know what? I am proud that they don't! They finally understand that Senator Omama is unfit to be president! He has no experience being in political power and the people can see that! His disappearance says it all! When the going gets tough, he becomes a scared little socialist puppy dog!_"

Sharack Omama smacked his forehead with his palm. "Wow…that Gann Back really hates you, Mister Senator," commented Crunch.

"That lousy Cortex," said Coco. "He must have really brainwashed him good!"

"I wish he was brainwashed," groaned Omama.

"Forget about him, the important thing is your back dear," Miss Omama said to her husband.

"Yeah, I was dying out there in front of the Cortex fans," Biten said.

"Well, you did your best, and I can tell you that it's not your fault," reassured Sharack.

"_Yeah! Cortex is the one at fault here!_" Crash added.

"George Shrubs told us that Cortex is using some ray gun that he put on his campaign bus to brainwash people," Coco mentioned.

"So if we can find Cortex's brainwashing doohickey, then we can destroy it, and we can expose Cortex for the liar that he is!" Crunch said.

"We need to know which cities Cortex is going to campaign in next," Biten said.

Tawna let out a small cough. Everyone focused on her as she reached into her pocket and took out a map of Cortex's campaign bus route. "I knew this would come in handy," smirked Tawna.

"Thank you Tawna! You have helped us all greatly," Sharack said, taking the map in his hands.

"Now, we need a game plan…and fast!" Crunch said, with determination.

"How about this, Sharack Omama can go and campaign in California while we go and follow Cortex around to find and destroy the brainwashing machine he has," suggested Coco.

"You might want to be careful though," warned Sharack Omama. "Cortex's secret service looks very tough."

"Mister Senator, with all due respect," began Coco. "You're talking to a group of bandicoots who have taken out Cortex many times before. This should be no different this time."

"Either way, if I can be of any assistance, please let me know immediately," offered Sharack Omama.

"_Thank you sir_," Crash replied.

"Now then, I think it's best if we start the mission tomorrow, early in the morning," Biten said.

"Good idea, let us all get a good sleep," Crunch said. "Good sleep is good for the body…fool!"

The Bandicoots (Tawna included) and Aku Aku left the senator in his room. They began to head over to their room. "Yaaaaa…ah man!" yawned Crunch. "Crunch is tired!"

"Yeah…it's pretty late," Coco said. "I can't wait to get some sleep."

"It's been very stressful for me," Tawna said. "The sooner I can forget about Pinstripe, the better."

"I don't see what you liked about Pinstripe in the first place," remarked Coco.

"_What did I like about Pinstripe?" _Tawna asked herself_._

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**FLASHBACK…**

During Tawna's imprisonment at Cortex Castle, she would stay locked up in a cell in Cortex's Laboratory. She would occasionally hear Cortex shouting at his minions for not stopping Crash Bandicoot. And he was doing just that today…but this time, Pinstripe Potoroo was with him…along with the other rats under his control.

"Argh!" grunted Cortex, angrily. He slammed his fists violently on the computer keyboard. "Koala Kong has failed to stop that meddlesome bandicoot…and now that bandicoot heading this way!"

"Wait a minute…a muscled freak like Koala Kong couldn't stop a puny bandicoot like him?" asked Pinstripe. "Well, I can definitely say that your plan for world domination is screwed."

"Well then, why don't you take care of him, then?!?" asked Cortex.

"Why should I?" Pinstripe asked.

"If he wants to get to my castle, he's going to have to go through the refinery. Let me remind who is in control! I'm paying you a huge sum to keep that refinery up-and-running and if the bandicoot ruins it…"

"Okay…okay…I see your point," interrupted Pinstripe. Pinstripe turned to his minions. "Boys, I need you all to stop Crash Bandicoot from reaching this castle. Do whatever you can stop him!"

The goons nodded their heads before heading out. "You better not hurt Crash!" Tawna shouted.

"What are you going to do about it?" Pinstripe asked.

"I'm serious! Don't hurt him!"

"Oh. _**I**_ won't hurt him. But my Tommy gun may have other ideas. Hehehehe…"

Pinstripe then left the room, leaving Tawna and Cortex by themselves in the lab.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cortex shouted, as he began to fall to his demise.

Despite opposition from Cortex and his minions, Crash Bandicoot managed to infiltrate his castle, climb to the top, defeated Doctor Cortex and send him spiraling down to his end (or at least that what it looked like), rescued Tawna from the castle, and then set the castle on fire…somehow.

Crash and Tawna stood on top of Cortex's Airship. Tawna hugged Crash tightly and lifted him off his feet. "Oh Crash…you're my hero," swooned Tawna. Tawna then turned back towards the burning Cortex Castle. "Good riddance, right Crash?" she asked.

Crash nodded his head in agreement. "But enough of Cortex, he's gone now. We can finally live our lives in peace," continued Tawna.

Both Crash and Tawna rode on top of the airship as it floated away towards N. Sanity Island.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

After Tawna and Crash landed (read: crashed) onto the beach of N. Sanity Island, the two trekked through the beach sand and into the woods. The two found what appeared to be an old stone hut. They would spend the following days refurnishing the old hut, using tools from Cortex's airship. It took them at most four months for them to completely fix up the house.

One day, as Crash Bandicoot was sleeping on the couch in their stone hut, Tawna went out into the woods and began collecting Wumpa fruits. She would reach up and examine the Wumpa fruit, checking if to see if it was ripe enough to eat.

Tawna placed a Wumpa fruit into the basket she had brought with her. She hummed a song as she harvested the fruit. "Oh...Crash is going to enjoy having this with ice cream," she muttered to herself.

"Come back here, you stupid fish!" someone shouted.

Tawna was surprised to hear someone else's voice. "That sounded like it was coming from the beach," she thought. She quietly walked over to the shore of N. Sanity beach.

She then saw a tall, rat-looking being glaring at a group of fish swimming around in front of him. Tawna looked him over. This being was very filthy, with his hair growing longer and unruly. It appeared that he was growing a five o' clock shadow after what seemed to be weeks of not shaving. A dirty pinstriped suit was tied around his waist and the white shirt he wore underneath was wrinkled and stained. Holes began to grow in the fabric of his pants and he remained bare foot in the hot sand.

Tawna looked back at the pinstriped suit and it instantly hit her. "_That can't be Pinstripe, can it?_" she asked herself.

She watched as he continued to fish. "Alright, this time, I'll get 'em!" Pinstripe said. He carefully eyed the fish before he lunged at it full force. The fish quickly swam away from him. "Hey come back here!" Pinstripe shouted angrily. "You stupid can't escape me!"

Pinstripe turned and saw Tawna watching him. "What do you want?!?" he asked, violently.

"Excuse me, Pinstripe!" scolded Tawna.

Pinstripe narrowed his eyes at Tawna. "Hey, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

"You tried to kill my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?!? Wait a minute...you're that one blond bandicoot who was locked in that prison cell in Cortex's lab."

"Yeah...and Crash Bandicoot was the one who ended your toxic waste business. Remember that?!?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. And if you're here, then that meddlesome bandicoot has to be here to."

Pinstripe began stomping towards Tawna. "Where is he?!?" he asked through his teeth.

"Forget it!" protested Tawna, as she stood in Pinstripe's way. "I won't let you hurt him. If anything you deserved to lose everything just for being a part of Cortex's plan."

"Cortex gave me great things! I had everything I could ever have: power, money, respect, and control. But he messed everything up. And now that he's dead, I'm stuck here, fending for myself and eating berries and stuff, all because of that Crash Bandicoot. He couldn't just let it be."

"Of course he couldn't! You were trying to take over the world!"

"You...you wouldn't understand what I wanted to do..."

At that point, Pinstripe's stomach began to growl loudly. Pinstripe clutched his stomach in agony. "Man, I'm starving," he complained. "Haven't eaten anything in days...I'm about ready to keel over."

He turned back to Tawna. "Is this part of the punishment that I deserve?" he asked, sarcastically.

"If you're hungry, why don't you just eat some of the Wumpa fruit?" Tawna asked.

"I don't eat that garbage."

"Well if you want to something with flavor, then you can't go wrong with a Wumpa fruit."

Tawna then handed Pinstripe a Wumpa fruit. "Just try it. I'll give you a free one for today, but you'll have to search one for yourself next time."

She continued to offer the fruit to Pinstripe. He swatted it out of her hands. "I don't need your handouts!" he shouted, angrily.

"Hey, I was trying to help out!"

Tawna then began to walk away angrily back to the house. Pinstripe continued to watch before she disappeared behind the trees. He then saw the Wumpa fruit, which was halfway dug into the sand. "What was she thinking?" Pinstripe asked. "I never ate a single fruit in my life."

Just then, his stomach growled again. He clutched his stomach once again. He took a quick glance around. He was making sure no one was watching him. He got up, walked over to the fruit, and picked it up. He brushed away the sand with his fingers. "I guess it's either this or eating sand," he muttered to himself. He dug his teeth into to the fruit, causing the juices to drip around his mouth and into his beard. He chewed the moist pieces in his mouth, allowing him to taste it. "Ehh…I guess it isn't bad," he said. He then continued eating the fruit.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

The following month, Tawna went out into the woods again. She had another basket in her hands ready to harvest more Wumpa fruit. She ventured out, leaving Crash Bandicoot alone in the house once again. She rounded a corner and saw Pinstripe reaching for one of the Wumpa fruits. Upon closer examination, she saw that Pinstripe had made a basket out of his tattered shirt, which he used to carry the Wumpa fruit he was collecting.

Tawna crossed her arms and looked on as Pinstripe twisted a fruit off its branch. He then noticed Tawna lying across a branch. Startled, he dropped the fruit he was carrying. They spilled them all over. "Where did you come from?" he asked.

"Ummm...I live on this island, remember?" Tawna asked, sarcastically. "Funny, I thought you hated fruit, seeing as how you swatted it away from my hands."

"Well, I figured it's either eat this or starve," Pinstripe explained, as he was on his knees picking up the mess.

"So...do you like them?"

"I guess it's not bad."

Tawna then got on her knees and began to help Pinstripe clean up. "So Pinstripe, how long are you going to be here?" Tawna asked.

"Oh, don't worry," answered Pinstripe. "I'll be getting out of here before you know. I've been trying to build a raft to the mainland. Once I get there, I'll head for the nearest bank, withdraw the money Cortex gave me, and I'll start another business where I regain what I lost."

"Does it really take five months for you to build a raft?"

"Well, I had a few design mishaps that I had to work out, but I'm close to done."

"And what happens if that boat fails?" Tawna asked.

"It won't, trust me."

After Tawna and Pinstripe finished picking up the fruit, Pinstripe recollected the fruit in his makeshift basket. "Alright then, I got my Wumpa fruit. So...yeah...I'll see ya later."

He turned around and he began to walk back to his shelter, leaving Tawna by herself. Tawna grew cross. "Could I least get a thank you?" she asked, sternly.

"Why?!?" Pinstripe asked. "You caused me to drop the fruit, so if anything, this was your fault."

Pinstripe then continued on his way. Tawna angrily threw her basket at Pinstripe's head, causing him to drop all of his fruit. "Hey!! What the heck is wrong with you?!?" Pinstripe asked, angrily. "Now that was definitely your fault!"

Pinstripe got on his knees and began to pick up the fruit. Tawna stood over him. "You going to help me again?" Pinstripe asked.

Instead, Tawna kicked the fruit further down near the ocean. In addition, she raised her foot and violently brought it down, squashing one Wumpa fruit and digging its pieces into the dirt. "Let me tell you something," she ranted. "You get respect a lot quicker if you showed some manners."

She turned and stormed out of the woods, leaving an angry Pinstripe behind.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Back at the Poteroo Sanitation Company, Pinstripe Poteroo looked out at the night sky through the glass window in his office. He sighed as he recalled the phone conversation he had with Cortex earlier. It was basically Pinstripe confessing that Sharack Omama was free from his prison and that Crash was going to stop him. Cortex simply hung up, though Pinstripe can imagine that Cortex was going crazy.

His office phone beeped and a red light flashed, indicating that a call was on the line. Pinstripe quickly picked the phone up and slammed it, causing the beeping and the flashing to cease. He rubbed the temples of his eyes. He sat back in his office chair and he placed his head on the desk. His phone rang again. He let out an angry grunt. "Get the hint, people! I am not taking any calls!"

He picked the phone up and slammed it, hanging up on whoever was on the other line. He then focused back on his desk. His eyes scanned the room and a framed picture caught his eye. He picked up the picture and examined it more closely. It was a photo of Tawna and him in front of the Excalibur hotel in Las Vegas. Both of them were smiling and were dressed in lavish attire. Pinstripe couldn't help but smile at the fond memory of that vacation.

Pinstripe perked his head up and scanned the office. He was all alone. He quietly pulled out a set of keys and unlocked one of the drawers of his desk. He pushed aside various papers and knick-knacks and took out a single Wumpa fruit that was stashed in his drawer. He bounced the fruit up and down in his hand as he began to reminisce about another memory.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

One morning, Pinstripe had caught a rather large fish and was cooking it over a fire. Pinstripe sunk his teeth into a piece of fish meat. But suddenly, he turned around and saw Tawna right there. "Are you stalking me or something?" he asked. "It seems like you pop up whenever?"

He then coughed a bit. "Oops! I meant to say...hi," he said. "You see, I have been working on my manners like you said I should. Now, would you like some fish?"

"Ummm…sure?" Tawna asked, unsure about his smart-alecky response.

She walked up to Pinstripe and sat beside him leaning against a rock. Pinstripe offered her a fish, which she gladly accepted. "Thank you," she said.

"No problem," Pinstripe answered. "You should have seen the little wrestling match this thing put up. His friends tried to help but I got it!"

"Good for you," Tawna said, sounding unimpressed. Her mood elevated when she ate a piece of her fish. "Wow!" she exclaimed. "This is really good!"

"Thank you!" Pinstripe said. "I never had to cook a fish raw before, so I wasn't sure if I was doing this right."

The two continued eating peacefully. "It's a nice day, isn't it?" Pinstripe asked.

"Yeah…it is a nice day," Tawna said. "I'm surprised at nice you are today."

"What can I say?" Pinstripe asked. "I'm in a good mood. My boat is almost finished."

"Oh really?" Tawna asked. "Are you sure it can float?"

"Trust me. I did plenty of tests on it. That thing will help me get to the mainland."

"And then you'll get your money and start a new business," continued Tawna. "So what business are you going to start?"

Pinstripe rubbed his hairy chin. "Hmmm…I don't know," he replied. "I guess whenever I get to America, I'll see what they have there."

"Oh…you're going to America?" asked Tawna.

"Yeah, you know the old saying. America is the land of opportunity. Surely there's something there for me," Pinstripe said. "I never did like Cortex."

"I don't think anyone did."

Tawna let out a relieved sigh. "Wow…it feels so good to get out of that house," muttered Tawna.

"Oh yeah? What happened?" Pinstripe asked.

"Ehhh...Crash set the kitchen on fire," said Tawna. "Guess he wanted to make breakfast and he screwed up."

"What…he can't make his own breakfast?" Pinstripe asked. "You think someone who could stop an evil scientist from taking over the world would he able to make breakfast."

"No, I usually do the cooking...and the cleaning...and the rest of her housework."

"You're a regular housewife," taunted Pinstripe. "Why don't you get Crash to do it?"

"Because," continued Tawna, "he's not good at it. Like this morning, he can't do anything without setting something on fire. He doesn't do a good job with anything. I always have to clean it or finish it off for him."

"Wow...and you guys are together because…?"

"Well...it's not that I don't love him. It's just that lately Crash has been doing a lot of things that just really angers me. And it's not just the kitchen either."

"What else does he do?" asked Pinstripe.

"He can't do anything, so I have to do it for him. He doesn't do any housework. He just leaves his clothes everywhere. He doesn't even say thank you. 'Course he can't talk but still…"

"So…you're saying that Crash Bandicoot acts like a kid?" Pinstripe asked.

"Um…well…I guess…but it's not really…his fault," stammered Tawna. "I mean…I guess since Cortex couldn't brainwash him…"

"Yeah, yeah…it's all Cortex's fault," Pinstripe said. "But you said you guys are boyfriend-girlfriend. But you sound like you're his mother instead."

"Oh…but he did rescue me from Cortex."

"So? Does that excuse him from acting like a child?" asked Pinstripe.

"Well...I mean...Crash is...I want to say..." stammered Tawna.

"You know, let me ask you something, do you have a dream?" Pinstripe asked. "Is there something that you wanted to do with your life?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm just saying...don't you think there is something better for you...instead of taking care of some childish bandicoot?"

Tawna remained silent as she began to think. "Hmmm…that's interesting," she pondered. "I never really had a dream. But I always wanted to travel to new places."

"If you go with me to America, we'll paint the whole state red," offered Pinstripe.

"Wait...you want me to go with you? You're a pretty rude person. How do you expect me to put up with you?"

"Well...would you rather have me to take to all sorts of places or do you want to spend the rest of your life being a maid to some child?"

Rather than give him an answer, Tawna got up and began to walk back to the house. "Well...thanks for the fish," Tawna said. "I got to go now."

"Hey remember what I told you," reminded Pinstripe. "When you decide what you want, you can sail with me. I'm leaving tomorrow morning from this spot. So, if you want to come with me, you better be here."

"I'll keep that in mind, thank you."

Tawna then went back to the house. Pinstripe continued to watch as she left. "Remember Tawna," called Tawna, "its not selfish if you though about yourself for once."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Pinstripe Poteroo continued looking at the Wumpa fruit. Something Pinstripe said must have reached Tawna, because next morning, she sailed off with him to the mainland. Pinstripe withdrew his money and the two sat out to America. Pinstripe and Tawna traveled across America until Pinstripe saw a failing sanitation business in Chicago. He invested some money into it and turned it around, making it a profitable factory…until the recession occurred. Of course, that's when he reunited with his friends, which Tawna didn't approve of. And then, he met Cortex…

Pinstripe bounced the Wumpa fruit in his hands and he continued thinking about Tawna. He grew angry. He was ready to throw the Wumpa fruit towards the floor, but his stomach began grumbling. Pinstripe groaned, annoyed. He then took a bite into his Wumpa fruit.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**BACK IN THE REAL WORLD…**

The "Cortex/Brio" campaign met up at a local coffee shop down the street from their hotel. Cortex sipped his cup of tea. He was calm and relaxed, unlike how he was a few hours ago. "Do you feel better now, Doctor Cortex?" Tropy asked.

"Yes, indeed I am," replied Cortex, calmly.

"Good for you," Brio said. "Now then, let's talk about something different. How about **my appearance on the Colbart Report?!?**"

"I was in a different country. We didn't have the channel," explained N. Gin.

"Well I think you missed quite an intriguing and hilarious show," boasted N. Brio. "For you see, I was promoting my newly written book…"

"Yeah, that's great," interrupted Cortex.

"Good to know," added N. Gin.

N. Brio seethed through anger, but he decided to continue drinking his latte. "So anyway N. Tropy, as I was going through a homicidal rage attack, you mentioned something about a new plan?" Cortex asked.

"Ah yes, thank you for reminding," Tropy said. "As N. Gin and I were entertaining the troops overseas, we found something that might help us still win this election."

"Did you find the weapons of ma…"

"No!" Tropy and Gin answered.

"But…we did find…"

N. Tropy then brought up his suitcase and placed it on the table. He opened it up and showed the comatose Rok-ko inside. "This!" Tropy said. "Rok-ko…the Earth elemental…he was found buried in the sand. Now…I wonder where the other elementals could be…"

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: **I know it took forever for me to get this chapter up, but school has been crazy on me, taking up a lot my time. On the plus side, my Creative Writing class has helped me improve my writing. I hope to incorporate what I have learned into the story.

**Crunch's Safety Tip of the ****Day**** Month:** Ah…Crunch is too tired. No time to come up with something witty.


End file.
